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It doesn’t take much these days....

....to completely bum me out. I’m doing my best to remain positive in the face of multiple major life crises, but some days I just want to go back to bed and pull the covers over my head! Trying to sell a bunch of stuff to make a few bucks and de-clutter. This woman has been messaging me over and over and set an agreement to come today to pick up the items, after me holding it for her for the entire week. She gets as far as getting my email address for an etransfer, then messages me to say that her husband is suddenly “too sick” to come and I should sell it to someone else. (After I’ve turned away several other buyers with my “pending” notification). In other words they either changed their minds or found something else. What the hell ever happened to integrity? If I guarantee something to someone, I keep my word unless there’s an emergency of some kind. People can be such jerks!

Chronically single is my #1 concern

Everyone complains about property prices and cost of living. My only worry is the anomie in Vancouver. It's an anti-social city. Things that help people in their 30s meet, such as bars, do not exist here. If they do exist, it's for groups of 4 and what not. Other cities, you just go to the bar and meet people. If I stay in Vancouver, I will die alone, so I am moving.

Loudness vs kindness

I want to shake each self-involved twat that complains about the child learning to walk in the apartment above them. It’s a beautiful thing that won’t last for long, so be a kind soul and be appreciative of your own life.

Glide on through to the other side

I confess that it makes me 75% angry and 25% afraid when vehicles glide through stop signs & intersections while I'm cycling/occasionally walking.

When I want to unwind without my boyfriend

I open a bottle of wine and I start to watch Archer. I find different things funny than him, so I want time to explore it myself. I love cartoons.

We

It's incredible how deep I can go into my own fantasy world. Lies on top of lies I tell myself (and believe them too) until I can't ignore reality any more and it all comes crashing down. I have a few degrees you know. I should be smarter than this.

Doggy Litter boxes

I know people in condos who have dogs they have trained to go in litter boxes like cats. I dunno, it seems kind of undignified to me. There's also "pet grass", patches of real grass for your dog to poop on that you keep in your apartment saving you the trouble of going outside. Human beings are weird.

I missed having a “Dad”

The older I get, the more I realize how incredibly important fathers are, and not just for their sons. I have a father, but I don’t feel like I ever had a Dad. I get Father’s Day cards and they all say these wonderful things about how the dad was always there for them, etc, and I end up going for the blank ones instead. I can’t lie. He’s misogynistic and narcissistic. He was never ever there for me. He was a horrible husband and a rotten father. Because of him I’ve never had a decent relationship with a man. I’ve had terrible self-esteem after feeling unloved and unwanted for my entire childhood. I watched the way he treated my mom who was so in love with him that she tolerated his treatment and his selfish ways for all these years. I was angry at her too until I realized that she was a victim of his just like the rest of us. I see some men who are so great with their daughters; who spend time with them and encourage them in everything they do. Those girls grew into strong and independent women who know their worth. To this day I’m sure my father couldn’t tell you anything about my life other than the obvious. He never showed an ounce of interest in me or any of my accomplishments. He had no idea of who I was then, or who I am now. He only talks about my brothers whenever he talks about his kids, as if I’m just an accident of some kind. So now I truly believe that fathers are extremely important and if any woman is out there actually planning to be a single parent, please make sure that your child of either gender has a good balance of positive role models of men and women in their lives. You have no idea about the long term effects of having no male that loves you and believes in you can have on a child.

Reach out

We put the onus on the person who needs help to reach out, but what if there's not anyone to reach out to? Crisis lines don't help. The health care system doesn't help. What's left?

Can't find my soul tribe

I find people usually misunderstand me or feel I am giving off bad vibes. So I finally give up trying to make friends or connect with anyone after constant rejections.

I SAW YOU

Cutie asks for a light

total dime. Brittney made my day. in front of bud shop on Main n terminal. Let's do dinner.

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