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Drunk showers -

it’s a thing. Well, so I found out (for the first time) a few weeks back. The thing is, I’ve never been that insanely drunk before. I have to admit, I was always a casual drinker. A few weeks ago, I went out with classmates to celebrate the end of our health science bachelor’s and we all had a few too many (hah, ironic, I know). I didn’t black out, as most millennials tend to do when they go overboard with the drinking, so I remembered my night. One thing I remembered in particular: my shower at 3am. I remember sitting there, in the warmest shower I’ve ever had, eating my twenty piece chicken nuggets and drinking my iced coffee from McDonald’s. I confess that this was probably my favourite shower ever. Now I don’t know if that’s sad or just embarrassing...but it feels good to get that little thing off my mind (even though that shower pops in my head at random times).

In a few short weeks

I'll be back in Vancouver! I want to run into you more than anything and I want to not have that happen just as much.

Yoga teacher dom fantasy

Sometimes I imagine my yoga teacher is my dom... it’s very motivating to follow instructions when I’m in a submissive mindset. I think I get a better workout.

No Good Time

I found out I can't have children six months ago. I still haven't told my husband. It would really upset him because he wants to be a dad. Every time I am going to tell him its just never the right time. I am scared he's going to leave me if I tell him.

Wreck Beach burners

It was better when they weren't there... when it was lame nudists and weirdos. Burners are the worst sort of hipster. At least they have to take their skinny jeans off at Wreck so that we don't know that they are hipsters (although the shy, reserved, lame hipsters still don't).

Meh

So Tim Horton’s apparently has new lids with maple leafs on them to look more Canadian. How about they go back to basics and sell good coffee and fresh donuts at a reasonable price and forget the rest of it. Don’t even get me started on their customer service.

Started the Day

With dad jokes! And it's only 7 in the morning.

Vancouver changes

I think the culture of Vancouver has changed a lot over the years. It used to be hippies who promoted peace and love and welcomed everyone to the community. It has now become global elites who move here for corporate office jobs and promote "foodieism" and spend tons on lunches that they take photos of. Vancouver does have a really good variety of diverse and good quality food, but I also see that people are getting fatter. I wonder if it's because the outdoorsy hippies are on their way out and corporate foodie types are on the way in. I would love to see an obesity report on Vancouver. We have always been the most in shape... but now? Is the tide changing?

Dear guys on the online dating pool:

If you look fucking 40 don't put 32, ok . I know that a 32 year old man does not have alot of eye bags and grey hair seriosly. I admit some can get away with it, may be 10% , but 90% of the time I can tell you are not in your twenties. Thanks sincerely swipe left/ no thanks.

Its You

I have a few friends that are women and they often complain to me about not being able to meet a guy. I tell them straight up that they're good looking and not crazy so they really have nobody to blame but themselves. Not hard meeting guys when you're good looking. I mean they get asked out at least twice a day. How hard is it to show up at some event with one of your girlfriends like a super-car trade-show show or a Rolex trade show or something. There are a lot of single eligible bachelors at these types of events. They just have to show up and give their numbers to someone they find attractive and nice. Do that enough times and you'll have a boyfriend. I told them they need to lower their standards or else they're going to end up alone. The clocks ticking and when they turn 30 the guys they rejected at 25 will start to look good and at 35 the guys they rejected at 30 will look really good. Some other women sometimes tell me I am being mean but I am not going to tell people the world is all sugar and spice and that everything will work out because that's not reality. Some people end up alone and that's just a fact. Sometimes the truth hurts but its my duty to not sugarcoat reality for these women.

I SAW YOU

You, tall, dark hair, handsome

You were waiting outside with two other gentlemen to be seated inside Via Terre. I was waiting...

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