Search confessions

Did I make a terrible mistake?

I confess that I'm tortured by thoughts that a decision I made last year to end a relationship with someone that I really loved, may have been a mistake. I had good reasons, but after so much time passing and my feelings not getting any less strong, I keep wondering if I acted too quickly. Maybe I could have waited until we could see each other in person so that we could have talked face to face about the big argument. Maybe my illness clouded my judgement and made me act impulsively. I did reach out once, but was met with so much anger and so many terrible things said, that I haven't tried again. My life was always difficult with him, because he was controlling and I was tough. We had many, many big arguments. I'd get fed up and end it, but we'd keep finding each other again. I know that life with him isn't perfect (and I never expected it to be because I'm not perfect by any means), but without him I'm just not functioning. I feel this massive void and I've lost interest in most things. Anyway, I thank you for listening. I guess I just have to live with the consequences of a decision made in haste.

Week Old Lemon Meringue

She rejected me so I did what many guys do. I buckled down, 80s montage style, soundtrack and all, and I became ripped and rich. I would blow her away the next time I saw her...only it took some time to do, and while I was building up my dead-lift and finances she was experiencing the effects of giving birth and gravitational force. It's now not looking like what I was working towards at all. I think I'll pass on the pie. One large black coffee please, to go.


Kill them with kindness, and don’t let other people’s negativity bring you down.

restraining order threats

You huffed and puffed about a restraining order, but in all those times I went to counselling to fix problems you said I had, you didn't realize my counsellor connected me with a lawyer and the police. At first because I wanted to fix being a jerk, which I admit I was. But as time went by, and you kept threatening me with restraining orders and things you thought would scare me, and kept keeping my emails to use against me... you didn't realize what you were doing was, by law, "communication." You can not converse with someone and only use their words against them. Thanks to you, I learned this in spades. I used your manipulation against you, you've just been too blind to see it.

At war with my better self

Every day of the last six months I have been at war with myself. Every day I have to push you out of my head. Your almost black eyes full of wonder and your dark voice shivering up my spine. Every time you come into my space I have to clamp down on myself like a vice. And yes, I avoid you now. I have to. Because I’m wrecked by the effort.

Misuse of "needy"

A stupid go-to. How does wanting to communicate become this negative label? You know the root cause of problems in any relationship? Unwillingness to talk. Don't ptivately whine to yourself about things going south when you're the root cause.

Dark clouds follow

I have suicidal thoughts almost every day for the last 12 years. The only thing preventing it is that my parents are still around. I don’t want them to lose a second child, but when they are gone so am I.


What the heck are sundries anyway?!

You: a taller, more handsome Cillian Murphy doppelgänger. ...

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