Search confessions

Miss having a culture

There used to be one in Vancouver. Now it is a global colony for the super wealthy and slave labourers who move here looking for the American dream.


I always knew that everyone had their own story - their own narratives, their own truths... But it hurts so much to live those differences. Each and every one of us is alone, I think. We can make the best of it, try to have fun and make connections and love each other and enjoy life, sure - but there are no guarantees when it comes to those we love. It makes me sad. And it makes me sadder still that nobody I know seems open to talking about this.

Haven't been with anyone

Since last I saw you. Was never good in math. How long does that make? My life ceased when you left

Enough Already, I Freaking Quit

I think that if things don't improve at my work soon, I will quit because I've finally had enough. Being understaffed is the worst, especially when there is pressure put on you and/or others to do extra work. My mental health doesn't deserve to suffer. I feel physically ill thinking about it all. Managers should appreciate and respect their employees by hiring backup people to help instead of making excuses just to save money. I'm trying to sleep but can't fall asleep. My brain is toast. Wish me luck today which will probably be my last day at my job. I will really miss seeing the one special/important/hilarious person who is my main motivation to go to work, that I look forward to talking to/laughing with everyday. He is an awesome person and I hope he doesn't hate me when/if I leave.

Aught one

Was the last time I got drunk. You know like the old days. My birthday's coming up and I wondered if maybe I might have a beer. Throw in a cigar just to make it real sweet. Good idea?


I was asked to give an update about something I posted a few weeks ago, regarding me wanting to shine a light on predators with NPD. Since then, I’ve woken up and realized that the person who came close to destroying me is no longer important to me. I spent more than enough time grieving over someone so truly broken that they’re beyond hope for any redemption, entirely because they believe they’re completely perfect and there’s no room for improvement. Instead, I’m taking steps to actively spread the word about NPD in the hopes that by making more people aware of it, these people will find it harder and harder to find new victims. As for him, I don’t even miss him anymore and the only time he does happen to cross my mind I actually shudder as if I escaped evil. Bad people unfortunately don’t have signs on their heads to warn others. No, sometimes they masquerade as tall, handsome, funny, talented, strong, sexy artists who are incredibly loving and endearing and exude a boyish charm. At other times they masquerade as sweet and caring people who would never hurt someone else. Their masks are quite often brilliant, so it’s really important to remember that if you ever see their mask slip even for a moment, that monster you glimpsed is in fact the real person. Believe it! If only there was some way to warn potential targets of this type of person. Oh well, I guess for now this will have to do.

Gone into hiding

I like being anonymous because there are certain times when I prefer not to be recognized. When I go for long walks or drives, I hide behind my hat and shades. I even wear my sunglasses when it’s raining. My goatee is growing longer and covering my bare face...whoops! I think i just gave it away. Yikes!

Fitness tracker

I wonder... if you masturbate really vigorously.... does your fitness tracker think you are running? Depends which hand I guess...

New Neighbour

It makes me slightly less nervous about the guy living in the park beside my house since July now that I have seen him going to substance abuse recovery meetings.

Lashing Out

I'm sorry. I express my desires, receive indifference, lash out, start to bandage my wounded pride, express my desires, receive indifference and lash out, over and over. I'm so practiced at this cycle now I can fit it all into a single breath sometimes. You aren't ugly, stupid, crazy or a slut.

My laundry room stunk like weed!

Couldn't figure it out until I realized that joint I couldn't find last week was in the pocket of the shirt I just washed.

So conflicted

Like so many of us, I’m considering moving completely away from the LM. The whirlwind pace of changes taking place here over the past 10 years is finally driving me away from my beloved home town. On the one hand I still love it so much and will miss it terribly, but I think that I’m already missing it because my hometown is gone. Where I presently live is becoming 100% devoted to the desires of foreign investors and tourists. The necessary services that we locals actually need are being eliminated one by one, so that all that’s left are touristy boutiques and coffee shops and expensive restaurants. I now have to go further and further away to get the things I used to be able to get just by walking or riding my bike. It’s not the livable place it once was. All of our beautiful natural places like the forests and beaches and parks, are no longer a place of refuge for me to escape to. They’re overrun with crowds of loud tourists tromping over the vegetation and snapping 1000’s of pictures while talking at the top of their lungs all at the same time. It’s hell! But the trouble is that I can’t figure out where there is left to move to that won’t be so far away from my family and friends that I’d be even unhappier there than I am here. A quandary that I guess so many of us are in as we are colonized.

I keep checking my head

Spent all day at Synagogue for Yom Kippur. I'm not at all religious or spiritual and haven't set foot in temple for any service for over a decade. Tonight, even after a shower and washing my hair....I still feel the yarmulke on my head. I have no idea why, it's a mystery.

Thank you laundry room honesty

I live in a great friendly building. Had a multi-task exhausting day and forgot my laundry card in the dryer of the busy laundry room tonight and admit I wondered if it would still be there when I realized an hour later. There it was (and the clothes were dry). Small mercies like that means a lot to me.


Al Halbrich trail

It was after three and I asked you about Neverland Falls as we crossed paths. I made it and got...