Search confessions

Sex Robot

I'm going to get myself a sex robot custom made to look exactly like YOU.

Give me good reasons..GOOD reasons.

So I hear that the biggest problem on transit is people cutting their nails. Why is this such a big deal? No one can tell me a good enough reason. I don't cut my nails on transit but if someone does...I could care less. This morning I sat in what appeared to be water. The guy sitting next to that seat had his bag over it (like many do to stop you from sitting there...not me) and told me there's liquid on it after I signaled to him I wanted to sit there. I told him that I just don't care. Five minutes into the ride I felt the liquid on my butt. Guess dried up shortly after leaving the seat. Why is it so disgusting to cut your nails on transit?

Life is good

Today I'm one year sober. A year ago I was found passed out in a ditch on the side of the highway naked spooning a pylon with a dick drawn on my face. When I got to the drunk tank, I was spitting on cops and being absolutely belligerent. I ended up in a potato sack (straight jacket) with a spit mask on. I was singing Christmas carols and got in a verbal argument with another dude in the cell over because I wouldn't shut up. When I finally sobered up, an officer and I spoke about my crazy night. He said he was amazed at what a nice gentleman I was as a sober human being. He ended up connecting me with a drug and alcohol rehabilitation program and I never looked back. I wanted to kill myself the day before. I took a bunch of Xanax and drank myself into oblivion to drown the pain of my dad passing away a week earlier in a car crash. He was all I had left as my mother died 5 months before from a drug overdose. The last thing I ever said to him was that I hated him and wished he would fucking die. I'll still never forgive myself. He was decapitated when a pole slid off a truck and smashed through his windshield. My friends tried to help me but I was beyond repair.. there was nothing they could do. I didn't want to be in reality. I couldn't stand to be alive. I know this story sounds absurd and made up but believe me it's not. Today I woke up feeling so good. I usually feel sad in the morning because the first thing I think of is my parent's deaths but today I felt at peace. They would be proud and I think would have forgiven me for the way I was. Life is beyond beautiful and I'm so happy to be alive. Here's to another year of sobriety. Life is good.

Dating is like Alcohol

It takes everything and gives nothing back. Seeing some of you guys grovelling ..for what, exactly??? Geez..get some perspective. Women are not all that and never were.

Take a chance

I can't believe I finally got the guts to do it but.. there's this older woman in my building. She's about 45. I've been admiring her for about a year and the other night she was coming in the building. I some how got the courage to stop her in the hall and tell her I thought she was beautiful. We're going out tomorrow for dinner. This isn't so much a confession.. more so advice to say act on how you feel. I could have easily went back to my apartment but I'm so happy I said something. She told me she thought I was cute and had been curious about me for quite some time. I feel so lucky. Take a chance, you never know what could happen. Don't fear rejection because it's just part of life. Unfortunately for some, the fear of not being accepted or fear of being made a fool keeps them from excelling. You'll never know if you never try. I'm so excited for tomorrow.

I’d rather be lonely

My confession is that I seem to be a narcissist magnet. I attract them in intimate or friendship relationships. If your eyes glaze over and you either totally ignore what I said or immediately change the subject back to yourself and your issues every time I try to talk, that’s pretty annoying and selfish. If it never even occurs to you that a “vacation” is supposed to include things that both people want to do, and not just whatever’s in your agenda, that’s very selfish. Especially since you’re expecting me to pay for 50% of all costs. There’s been clues all along since we met, but since there’s also great things about you I thought I could deal, but after this experience I realize that not only can I NOT deal, I definitely shouldn’t. I’d rather be lonely than allow one more self-absorbed person to use me just because they didn’t want to be alone.

Breaks my heart

I've found out the majority of my neighbours in my apartment use the food bank. I also found out some of my coworkers use the food bank and are financially struggling to get by. This all breaks my heart.

Insight takes time

Reflecting back on a lifetime and a child of the sixties peace and love generation yet most of the early sexual experiences were a form of seduction and sometimes rape beginning at age 12 in those days it seemed that girls were immediately noticed when they developed small breasts. So it was with a neighborhood boy who lured me into his family tent trailer one summer to "talk" and ended up pushing his penis into my mouth and I threw up, and he never spoke to me again and culminating at one point at age 15 with a couple of my so-called boyfriend's friends getting me more drunk than I realized and possibly drugging me before gang raping me in a hotel room. I only remember flashes of what happened but it was like one minute I was okay and the next I was unable to move or get away and they did not listen when I told them to stop I think that my ex boyfriend participated in the set up but in looking him up these days he is already dead so maybe karma is a real thing after all. All of these assaults and seductive things happened years ago but because I was not actually helped to process these experiences because doctors prefer to give out pills rather than talk to people it resulted in a prolonged and painful reaction that took years of self reflection and I probably had PTSD symptoms which were never dealt with because I never really understood myself. I just tried to hide or forget everything. Blaming myself and my lack of natural physical beauty and many of these abusers and users over the years had eroded any shred of my self confidence because I believed that I deserved it because I was not attractive enough. I did not tell anyone this thought but I think I was much more easily abused than the more beautiful and popular girls were and that it was easier to shame me and make me feel it was my fault but I had not realized how easy it was to target me or what to do about it. Thing is that I was lucky to have only a few of these horrible experiences and many people have far worse and they have not been given time and space to process these things and on top of it may be in the throes of substance abuse as result of their memories or the type of personality or mental illness they have developed and they need time. I hope people think about that because I have luck and good intelligence as well as access to reading material and education and it took me a long long time to understand many things about myself.

I feels so stupid

I have been with my bf for 2 years and we live together and I am miserable all the time. I work 2 jobs full time to pay the bills and he hasn't really worked for 2 years. He might work a month in a year doing painting or security work and then he gets fired and its always someone else's fault. I just have so much anger when I come home and the apartment is a mess and hes playing video games on the couch. There is nothing physically or mentally wrong with him. Hes just lazy. I blame myself because I let it drag on for so long because I have low self esteem because I used to think I deserve this but I deserve better. We got into a big fight and I couldn't take it anymore and threw him out. He can live in his mom and dads basement. This isn't a rant about men in Vancouver its just about me and him and I am sorry about ranting. I am just in tears because I love him so much and this jerk never once got me a birthday gift or told me I was beautiful. Working two full time jobs, doing all the laundry, all the cooking and cleaning just took a huge toll on me and I reached my breaking point because its just too much. I just feel so stupid because I wasted 2 years of my life on this jerk.

I am back to monogamy

After trying polyamory, I realized that humans were never supposed to do this. I just felt like total unappreciated crap all the time. I think only a few people can truly pull this off, but I see a lot of people suffering through it and lying to themselves that it makes them happy.

YouTube diet

I literally spent so much time down the YouTube rabbit hole that I forgot to have dinner. And now it's 9 at night and I don't want to eat this late. Damn it.

My guts are heart broken

You’ve broken me. I want so badly to forget you. To not want for you or miss your wordsy ways. But you keep lingering. I double over with the emptiness you have left inside of me. In this wonky world of life and responsibilities our kooky strange sould found each other and it was really pretty awesome. As much as I want to purge you from my linger. I wish was as easy for me as it has been for you.

Coolest Chick in BC

Man I wish I could see her again. I've just ...never been kicked in the nuts by another girl in my life. It's not that I like getting kicked in the nuts, at all; it really really hurts. But.... I feel like I was forever imprinted to respect her because of it. And honestly, when you find someone you really respect, it kind of inspires you try. And that's what she brings out of me and I'll always love her for it. She makes me want to try. So gentlemen: I've bought new runners today. Ready your ballsacks!


Bimini Liqour store

I saw you at the Bimini liquor store while we were both buying beers. We talked about our...