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Hobo Sexual

Don’t pretend you can get over our issues and tell me you love me and want to start a life with me. The truth is, you resent me, you lie to me and control me. You only really need a place to crash when your friends’ couch becomes tiresome. Go find a new couch. I’m not to be used for your convenience. Just another thing you tell me I’m doing but you’re actually doing. I’m done.

On Every Night

For 9 years, getting drunk and trying to materialize you, by sheer force of dreaming, naked, face down in my mattress. Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.

Woohoo!

I’m so relieved. I can now smoke weed at home without hiding it from my landlord. I can’t sleep most nights and weed helps to shut my brain off so I can sleep. Ending prohibition was the best choice! I don’t normally smoke it during the day but this weekend I couldn’t help but smoke 3x more than usual. I’m loving this!

Blithe Spirits

I wish people had to blow into a breathalyzer before posting here. Saturday night angry lover bitterness is incredibly tedious.

Not me anymore

A couple of years ago I joined a coed league to meet new people and play sports for fun. But I ended up getting injured pretty bad. I had a horrible concussion, broken nose, and sprained neck. I couldn't function from the concussion for a few weeks, all I could do was lay down in a quiet dark room. Since then it feels like a part of.me died that day. I am no longer the person I use to be. I have trouble recalling memories or things that happened during the week / day. I wish I could get back to the happy person I use to be but I can't find myself. It's crazy looking back that I joined rec sports to meet new people and have fun but instead I lost me. Why do people have to be aggressive when playing rec sports, can't they just play for fun and not hurt people.

How we know it's love (or something like it)

You wanna know? Okay, let's say you have a cappy exchange. Hurt feelings, dumb things said in the heat of the moment, misunderstandings, whatever. You declare you're done and storm off. Then...as you calm down... it hits you. You feel sad. I mean, really, really sad. You think things went too far, and a wave of deep sadness washes over you. I mean, it hits like a brick in the head. Nothing can shake it all day. All day. All friggin' day. You wish it all didn't happen. You wish for a miracle. You realize this matters a lot. OMG this person really matters! What have we done!? How do we fix this!? Aaaaagh! That, my friend, THAT is your heart trying its best to scream over your pride and your mind to tell you what it really wants, what really matters. Your heart will not let up. Fuck logic, fuck what people say should or shouldn't...THAT, my friend, is love. And it makes no sense. The time we haven't spent. The different lives we lead. But it's here, it's real and it's not going away. And it's crazily mutual. It has been for some time, and distance along with every other life-altering distraction is nothe nearly as strong as what your heart wants. That, my friend, is love.

Commonality?

Wow, so many of the couples I know have very little in common with their spouses. What do they see in one another and how did they build a relationship with a person they have so little in common? It's becoming increasingly obvious that these people are together because they're afraid to be alone.

Sick Of Working For Corporations

It's become abundantly clear that the Human Resources Manager at my work does not care about me as a Human in the slightest.

Regret

I broke up with someone because of a 15-year age gap. I feared the gap would create issues down the road, and I would resent them for being older, so I let them go. I’m pretty sure they’ve moved on but for me, years later, making a choice out of pure fear is still my biggest regret.

Comfortably Numb

I love classic rock and metal music. I've been listening to the same songs for 30 years and each time it feels like I'm hearing it for the first time. Metallica's Fade To Black just came on and my head rocks with each pick of the string. Now Kirk's solo intro...fucking amazing. Blows me away every time.

Don't care to hear it from you anymore

I don't care if you want me but can't be with me. I only care if you want me, and will do what it takes to be with me. I don't need to waste my life on your melodramatic bullshit and indecision. I'm moving on with or without you. Once I'm with someone, I am with them until they leave me, or I am dead.

Star Crossed Encounter

I confess sometimes I fantasize about us running into each other at a park that's close by, forgetting about all the past, present, and future and.... <3

Should I give up on dating and stay single?

I won't go into the usual how difficult it is to date here as that seems to be the case for both sexes and a well known problem in Vancouver. I wonder whether I should try to bother dating and just opt to stay single despite the fact it would be nice to have a partner and LTR. I have chronic fatigue, chronic pain and other chronic health issues as well as mental health issues such as depression and PTSD from sexual abuse. I've gone to therapy for years and continue to as one should for their mental health, but have treatment resistant depression (extremely difficult to treat) that hasn't responded well to treatment despite trying countless medications and therapies. I still go to therapy etc. But I struggle a great deal with the preceding health issues. I've also been in hospital due to doctors errors and not being believed and fallen seriously ill, and did recover, but it took a heavy emotional and physical toll and Ive lost faith and trust in doctors and specialists being able to help me, but still go to appointments etc. From the outside you can't tell, and many people don't know as it's an invisible disability, and friends I've told have been surprised by the extent of it and never had any idea. Even a family member who I recently saw a wedding event who knows I have health problems (not in great deal, just that it's not great) commented at least you "look good and don't look it." Not a comment anyone with health issues likes to hear by the way.... Something to be mindful of if you know anyone that is similar. I only work pt as a result of my health issues and it's very very hard to do with my health issues, and often i need to rest, take sick days, and get sick and deal with chronic pain etc. Too. Ive dealt with a lot of other adversity in my life and still do, but from the outside you can't tell. It's essentially an invisible disability and many people don't know, some friends do, but many don't get my health problems and cancelling plans due to health issues. I feel I'm missing out so much on life, and doing everything I'm supposed to with seeing doctors etc, eating properly etc. But it's still hard to deal with. Im a 40 year old woman, and all of my much younger family are married, and many others are getting married soon. It's been hard attending these weddings as I feel I'll never meet anyone due to my health issues..... I've not had great luck dating, and not met men that have treated me with kindness and respect that are looking for a serious relationship, with the exception of a couple different guys, but those didn't work out due to long distance, and my needing to live here cause of my health issues. I've taken long breaks from dating due to bad experiences, have difficulty meeting single nice guys as I think they are in hiding or taken, and to take a step back to focus on myself. I wonder whether I should bother trying to date at all to be honest due to my age, and health issues. I also don't want children which is a deal breaker for most men as they want families. I have friends tell me to not give up on dating, and to not give up, but I'm a realist band not had much luck, and been single for the most part with the exception of a couple relationships. I wonder whether I should bother trying at all and do think it's best to maybe give up despite my wanting a partner. I miss having someone I can talk to, and just being cuddled etc. And not into hookups due to my past abuse and trust issues. Dating and just meeting people in Vancouver is impossible for many people, myself included and just meeting nice, single guys. So what should I do? Should I throw in the towel? If so, how do I cope with that? If not, how should I date, where should I go to date (online has been awful, and I'd prefer irl) and when do I drop all of this health stuff on someone? There are plenty of people that have health issues that have partners, but there are many with and without health issues that have difficulty meeting someone. I'd appreciate any constructive advice and tips. Thanks Also, if anyone knows a good support group or groups for depression that would be appreciated. Ty

I give up

How do I break back into the world of dating after spending the last 15 years waiting for what I thought was the love of my life basically in solitude? I haven't even had sex in all this time. How the hell do I explain that?

You're so close.

You went from quietly gathering courage to mentally prepping the trip to inexllicably and angrily shutting down with a pile of insults based on lord-knows-whover-else-said-what-you-thought-came-from-me, then from feeling horribly and understandably hurt to being so overwhelmed with unrequited love that it blew both of us away. Then, realizing how powerful you reacted and what you felt, you shockingly realize you feel love and passion like never before and now, after quietly enjoying this realization that made you grin inside so strong it curled your whole mind into a secret joy ball, you stew in your sleep... you don't know what to do and you stand frozen, so fearful of failing that you risk turning your fears into self-fulfilling prophecy and again starting the cycle all over again. Why do I get the feeling you'd never have had to suffer like this if you only just talked directly instead of relying on anonymous posts like these? How long will you wait this time? And do you really have to circle back again? We both know where we want to be and we can't get there without you. I just wish you'd finally realize those fears of failing are wrong, realize I'm waiting for you, get fed up, get it over with and come get me. I wanna make you laugh again.

I SAW YOU

Matt White Vs. Matte White Pipe

I've been sitting on two broken ass pipes for a very long while. I figured with the new...