Search confessions


I am finally reaching a place in life where I am unearthing the power inside of myself, rather than searching for it within what others think of me. I am almost embarrassed to say that it took years of hard work and honesty with myself to arrive at this state of mind. My biggest fear used to be rejection from friends for being too much or not enough. It became a self-fulfilling prophecy a lot of the time, as I would start behaving like an asshole and pushing people further away when I felt that they were moving forward with their lives without me. As they absolutely have the right to. Understanding that my power resides within means that I have the confidence to stand alone and feel proud of how far I’ve come and excited about working toward my goals, knowing that no matter what, I am there for me, that I can be a solid friend to those who choose to come along for the ride, and I can let go of those who wish to explore different paths.


Am discovering belatedly that life gets better when you learn how to prioritize.

What is a name

The more I hear about what type of person my great-grandma was, the more I wonder why I was named after her. She sounds very unpleasant.

Mob Mentality and Everything Else

Often, I hate everyone. You all give me a plethora of reasons every day. But then I remember certain instances, like the old man who plays with a street cat in the evenings in my neighborhood. He brings his own fishing pole-like cat toy to play with her. Isn't that adorable? That balances out all the rest of you for awhile. For awhile.

The human brain does not need all this info

Plunked in this digital age with ALL this information at my fingertips, I am finding I do not want it. These screens are making me feel sick, and I just want to go outside and breathe, talk to people. My beleaguered brain cannot even generate the energy to browse my real passions & interests online - currently the whole internet just feels like a write-off. I wonder about my mental health, how different it might be if I could go back to those seemingly innocuous early-internet days of the mid 90s when my dependence began, and take a different route. (and I don't even use "social media") None of us knew the fallout of it all - but I guess we have a chance to raise our children more mindfully.

Childhood memory

I have a childhood memory that haunts me to this day. I'm about four, I find a wild mushroom growing on my front lawn. I eat the whole thing with my mom sitting on the front step, smoking a cigarette watching me the entire time. She does nothing, doesn't freak out, doesn't stop me, nothing. Lucky for me the mushroom was edible, I'm still here. I remember, years later when I was about 10, and better able to process things, my mom talking with a friend about children dying after eating destroying angel mushrooms, this twigged the previous memory and it hasn't gone away since. My relationship with my mom was not great, she passed away years ago now, every time I think about how hard my mom had things and how I should try to forgive her, I'm stuck with this memory and I can't.

Love Sucks

I’m in love with a man who hates me. I’m not really sure he ever loved me back. It’s so strange to have come to this point and have to come to terms with it. It’s awful and it’s all I can think about. So much trauma. So much pain. So much love that just feels wasted.

BC Ferries

Does anyone else go as insane as I do when the BC ferries message comes on and says “thank you for choosing BC ferries” (or something like that)? Uh..... there’s no choice in that. If there was, not one person alive would be “choosing” to sail with you. Totally inept.

Not a Boomer

but I really like watching old tv shows and movies. No smart phones! And people seemed nicer to each other.


Bird nerds at Reifel bird sanctuary

You: video game designer, green jacket and a large camera (and your dad was an ornithologist)! Me...

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