Search confessions

picture perfect

i know when others see me they think I have a perfect life. everything looks perfect. my smile, my attitude, my ability to conquer it all. i feel so lonely sometimes on the inside. they just don't know. they just don't get it. how difficult it is to strive for perfection.

The Purge

I had a epiphany today that down deep Americans hate one another. That's why they are so obsessed with guns. They're preparing to wipe one another out. If you spend any time there they have an air of hostility when they communicate. The reason the country is so divided? They just hate one other. If one political won that country 100% the party would quickly turn into factions and start to war with one another. I have to assume they hate one another because down deep they know the culture is just plain ugly. Even with all the great inventions some how they reduce everything down to mostly economics and then impose those "values" on the world under the guise of democracy. On the surface it's American pride but down deep they hate themselves and therefore each other. Seriously, that sh!t's a time bomb.

so disgusting

I'm a really ugly girl and it's so hard. I just want to scream and rip all my skin off. I know guys care a lot about looks, and none of them will ever want me. Even if I do date a guy, he will just constantly hate me and think he deserves someone better than me. It's more than just guys though. I can never go help people in my life because if I try they will just be upset by how disgusting I am. I won't ever get hired, and people won't like me, because of the halo effect. God.

Job search and destroy (yourself)

I've been looking for a job for months. Constantly dealing with incompetent HR, owners, or whoever is tasked with bumbling through the same 5 questions used across every industry. I cant fathom how these people have jobs, let alone being the gatekeepers of people willing to work. Vancouver's work scene is the worst I've ever experienced. 20 year old company's that call themselves a Startup, Startup's that have no idea what profits look like, or tech companies that are trying to hock an outdated product. Here's hoping for a change.


They are the lowest life form of landlords. They have little regard for their tenants health or well being and only care about their "investment". They shouldn't be allowed to thrive, but like cockroaches they scuttle around the system and they don't go away. Be wary, any unsuspecting tenants. The warning signs are: accepting money without asking any questions, not filling out an inspection report or a tenancy agreement and no background checks. In a city that is desperate for vacancies on housing, these type of landlords continue to exist and tenants put themselves at risk of being taken advantage of and abused by greedy, lowlife excuses for human beings.

In Hell

At the time I thought it was God speaking to me, but it looks as though it was just the devil appearing as an angel of light. He told me that soulmates do not exist, and then he turned around and said that you and I are soul mates, and that I would "wed" you. If I misunderstood what he meant by "wed".... well I hope I don't have to spend eternity alone in hell with you, since you never really loved me. It'll be bad.

Lose lose situation

I had an opportunity to move to to a new city for work that involved a promotion. There were 2 factors that led me to turn it down, and one of them was a girl I had recently met. She's great. Hard working and motivated, attractive, not stupid, and funny as hell. Yeah she had flaws, but everybody does. She saw me at my worst early and didn't run from it. She was willing to put in the time and effort to try and work through whatever issues arose. Fast forward a month or so, and here I am writing a confession about how I screwed it up past the point of salvation. And that promotion is long gone.

I can not Figure you out

I have really lost my f-ing mind ! Ok you know I love you right? A) yes I do , I just don't feel that way at all or will we ever be together in anyway . These are your words , so I'm at your place and f me gently if I don't notice you in some of the most provocative come heithers poses I have ever seen . I walked out for a second to come back into you bent over ass at my crotch and I was unable to get by . Until you realized this wasn't working either . Then a few nights ago wtf you jerk off in front of me and I know you know , I was there and watching from a foot away , in your sleep my f-ing ass . So I did not act on these plays by you simply because I need you to tell me what you want and try and me figure it out cause if I'm wrong then what . You use your f-ing words please !! Cause I want you so bad , I might just go insane soon !

P.U. - Yum!

Canned salmon....smells like old cat food, but tastes like heaven!

Freelancing Friends

Sure, I like to support friend's independent businesses but am not going to spend another dime on them staring at their smartphone.

Better Shape

My boyfriend asked me if I was waiting to get into better shape to break up with him. B*tch please, I am in amazing shape, you don't realize how good you have it.

To you wonderful artists....

I'm about the embark on the Eastside Culture Crawl. I have very limited time this year so I will be racing through as many studios as possible. Please don't take offence if I race through yours! I love your art and would not visit your studio if I didn't (I've marked down the places I want to see) - I'm just in a huge hurry and want to see as much art as I can. Thanks for all your hard work & dedication!!


Not everything moves to disorder. Not me. I'm finely tuned. Scheduled. Sanitized. You can go ahead and turn into a big puddle of jello. I'll be here in front of the mirror counting out tricep pulldowns.

Advice please

I feel insecure that my partner still has photos of him and his ex on his computer. Yah I know he chose me, yah I know he's with me now, and that was then and they're there for memories.. But it bothers me, so should I say something? Is it bad for me to ask him to consider deleting them? We're not married but is it weird for married people keep photos of their exes around for memories??

Anxious driver

I'm in my thirties and driving still gives me anxiety. I hate it so much. I made an error in judgement and timing when I made left turn today when someone was coming straight at me. Sorry... I don't know what I was thinking and I'm beating myself up about it. I'd say overall I'm a safe driver, but I'll get anxious and it will throw me off. I get frustrated because it's a life skill that comes easy for almost everyone one.. Why is it so difficult for me? Sigh.


I remember your name but I won't post...

We met in line for drinks. You and your ex were hanging out with me and my roommate during the...