Nothing in my life made sense until I started really digging for the roots of my problems. No one to blame for the way things turned out, they are what they are. But it’s such a relief to have figured it out.
So I am staying at home. I am not wearing my Xi face mask in public for ironic and freedom of expression reasons.
I am a cis-gendered hetro man in his late-40s. What follows is a full list of times I have been hit on (which I define as showing overt attention with the expressed intent of a romantic or sexual relationship or encounter) in my life.
June 2019: At a party, a recently divorced co-worker attempted to negotiate a sexual relationship (her criteria being single men with a pulse).
May 2018: A friend-of-a-friend (who was in a longterm long-distance relationship) told me she found me sexy and wanted a FWB situation (without the F).
Feb 2017: A woman I met on a hike told me that she was interested in a casual sexual relationship with me.
Oct 2016: A drunk co-worker offered to give me a blowjob.
Apr 1995: Started a relationship with a woman who initiated things.
Way too numerous to mention. On the scale of hundreds of times. Most recently a week ago at a friend's Thanksgiving party.
It seems that, with a few exceptions, I really only appeal to gay men. If only God had made me gay.
I am a smoker but I don't smoke in my house out of respect for my family and roommates. I prefer to smoke outside anyways because it makes your house smell stinky and going outside for a quick smoke is enjoyable most times. However I hate it when it's raining and rain water falls into my coffee when I'm outside smoking in the mornings having my coffee and cigarette.
I need a job so I've been looking at job ads. They all make me want to crawl into a forest and die. How do people do this shit?
I’m a giving person.I will drive across the country to pick up a friend if they needed me too.Share my thoughts or stuff anything basically.So as I was clearing out more clutter to anyone who needed it my girlfriend said she could use it. Perfect less stuff for me to deal with.Then the surprise was she wanted to take me shopping in return for the crap I was throwing away!I do t ever ask for favours I. Return for things but she was like me and wanted to make a day of it.Walked out with a new set of Clothes for the winter.Amazing loving this life.Great people are out there!And learning to let others share
I have always loved the idea of riding a motorcycle like a Harley or something but sadly I have terrible hand - foot coordination (I can barely manage a manual transmission) and poor balance. I rented a scooter one time in Greece and crashed it straight away... those scratches were there already... Anyway now I see they have these really cool looking electric motorcycles.. you don't even need a motorcycle licence and there's no clutch! my motorcycle fantasy may become a reality! oh, and they qualify for electric vehicle rebates! Now to find a leather jacket and over-sized mirrored sun glasses... might have to grow a handlebar stach too... of yeah!
I think I'm realizing how alone i am. I never know anyone or what they're doing talking to me; I never know what they'er capable of or how capable they are of changing. I can't communicate with anyone because it usually means having to constrict my already constricted social world, because I don't know if they'll understand or simply shake me off. It's fucking annying because I feel like I'm forced to be in constant contact with people I don't trust who don't want anything to do with me, and honestly, I don't want anything to do with them either. I had all this value on sharing but it was fucking bullshit, share one thing doesn't mean you will continue the relationship of sharing. I know you can never fully know someone but I feel like I have to put a guard up always and recognize the impermanence. I have lifestyle that suits independence, but I didn't realize I was aching for something until I fell for some words, but once again, just a moment. And I always, always, always regret dedication.
in grad school I wrote a love letter to a classmate instead of doing the paper I was required to do. We were required to recite our papers and she didn't even attend! What a waste. It may have been the profs bock clocking. I'm not sure. The rest of my moronic colleagues were so confused they assumed it was brilliant.
"At The End Of The Day" is more than just an expression. It's what I look forward to every day.