Search confessions

Nightmare or Fantasy?

I dreamt that I was begging my ex to have sex with me and when he teased me with kisses and a rock hard erection but refused to remove his clothes, I reached down his pants, detached his dick and went into another room to fuck myself with it while he washed my dishes.

No friends

I have zero close friends. My BF asked me to merry him last year and I'm thankful for the pandemic as I had no one to ask to be my maid of honor. He has tons of friends so no problem picking a best man but it will be an odd wedding....

Timing Troubles

I’m falling in love with someone whose recently divorced. I’m also recently divorced and it’s scary having feelings for someone else. I’ve been told space needs to be taken. It’s so hard because we were together most nights and now I’m alone all the time again. I hope with time things work out because this one is a keeper.

Bad sibling

I have a sibling with substance issues that we had all lost touch with for twenty years. Now, at least, I have a phone number for the friend my sibling lives with because the friend has govt. housing. If not for the friend, it would mean living on the streets. As it is, this govt.housing sounds harrowing and dangerous, surrounded by drug dealers and out of control addicts. Building management seems to have abandoned ship. The last time I called, I got so stressed, I barely slept for days, worrying for them. I am already a basketcase from several major circumstances in my own life. I haven't talked to them in a while and I feel really shitty about it. And then I get mad at myself for beating myself up about this, too. I need a holiday, or maybe a three month coma.

Coping Mechanism

I call it corona now to make it sound less scary.


When we all were working in the office, one of the most senior staff offered to tell us his salary during lunch. He probably earns twice as much as the average office worker. People told him No, please don’t tell us your salary. He kept insisting. I don’t know him very well and it’s seems TMI to know his salary. Not even sure why he would try and push it into us, because what were we to say? Wow? You’re so valued and smart? Only if you want to brag and feel superior would you offer your number to coworkers you KNOW earn less than you.

Alcohol really is the worst drug

Ive been a drunk and an addict at various points in life. Thankfully I have been clean for almost 20 years now. I understand the need to get f-ed up. I really do. I think being so aware of ourselves and being such conscious beings is really hard on the mind and spirit. But I hate that alcohol is so popular and avail. Its one of the worst drugs out there and very few drugs make people as stupid and ignorant than alcohol. Ive been on heroin, and crack, and I NEVER cornered people and made them listen to my dumb theories and favorite music lyrics. I NEVER hopped in a car and drove home from the heroin club. How many families and marriages and lives has it destroyed? Too many.

I don't want the Astra vaccine

I want 95% protection, not 65%. Imagine if it was a condom? Do you think we'd be okay with someone saying "some protection is better than none"? That so-called reassurance comes from people who have the 95%, so what do they care? I'm freaking out. I want my 95%. I want to make sure I'm safe, not "maybe".

Street Libraries are Gems!

Hurray for the little neighbourhood libraries! These streetside gems really saved me during library lockdown and I still haunt them. Yes, they are a mixed bag but I can usually find something interesting, curated by the community. I've read many great books that I never would have thought to choose and doing a circuit of the ones in my area gives a destination to the many walks we are all taking these days. Thank you, neighbours!


I have some really shitty dramatic neighbours. They fight all day from the wee hours of the morning to late night. Has anyone experienced this since covid and what have you done? I try to drown it out but it never ends. Should I be more concerned, call for help? I've tried minding my business but they've picked fights either way.


Alastair, the Drive

You thought I was Alastair. My dog loved you. I'd like to get to know you?


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