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“Age is just a number”

No it’s not. It’s lived experience. Hopefully you gain wisdom from that experience. Now that I can confidently say that I’m old, I look back at my younger self and laugh. How arrogantly sure of myself and my level of knowledge I was! How I assumed that more years meant nothing. How incredibly wrong I was about so many things that only experience would teach. Young people don’t change much from generation to generation. They think they invented it all and old people are irrelevant. As if all of us old people were born old. So now I know what not to say and how to pick my battles. I know how to let some things and some people go without me struggling to keep them. I have learned that “this too shall pass” is the absolute truth. I accept that how I look now is going to look pretty good to me ten years from now if I’m lucky enough to be around then and able to look back. I’m not going to waste my time telling young people to listen to their elders because the young people who most need to listen are the ones least likely to do so. I’m going to live out the rest of my life appreciating the gifts I’ve been given and being grateful for the things I have, and not worrying so much about what I don’t have. Peace.

Who’s it really for?

I get confused about the gifts some people tend to give to others. Like I can’t tell if the gifts are for the other person or for themselves. Example: someone gives you something you don’t really want or need but it’s something they want for themselves and they’ll get to enjoy it if they give it to you. Especially if you live together. Is that a gift for you or them? My former partner did this all the time and when I finally called them out on it they accused me of being selfish and ungrateful. I can only remember one time when they seemed to put effort into choosing a gift with me in mind and that was the very first year we were together. After that it was always something they got to use as much or more than me. Sometimes I even said repeatedly that I really didn’t want the thing they wanted to give me and even asked them specifically not to get it because I preferred something completely different. But they gave it to me anyway and got to use it all the time. So I think those types of presents aren’t for anybody but themselves. I have pondered this a lot because they always accused me of being selfish and not appreciating anything. But when I give someone a gift I try to make it something that they want or need and I don’t think about whether or not it’s something I want because to e gift isn’t for me. If I’m not sure what to get I ask them if there’s anything they really want or need. We aren’t together anymore but it’s taken me years to learn to trust myself again and to not believe all the awful things they always said about me. I’m curious to know if anyone else has had similar experiences with someone who does that?

The monkeys are fooled

Or maybe they’re not? If you have seen all the evidence of someone’s selfish behaviour with your own eyes but still accept what they tell you as being the truth, are you a fool or are you just willfully ignorant? You think that every person who has been in a romantic relationship with that person is the one at fault and they’re just an innocent victim? Really? Unless you’ve been in a relationship with them yourself you’re not in any position to judge. You have no idea how they treat their relationship partners when you’re not there. If someone has been with countless partners over a long lifetime and all those former partners are all saying the same things, perhaps you should give more credence to what they’re saying and less to what you’re being told by the person who’s claiming to be a victim. All those other people can’t be wrong and this one person is totally free of blame. It’s just not logical or probable. So before you jump to their defence with impassioned and malicious comments, please consider this.

Little agressive dogs

It's okay if your dog doesn't like other dogs. All dogs are good dogs, and that doesn't make them bad or you a bad dog owner. What is questionable to me is making the decision to bring your dog -who doesn't like/is agressive to other dogs- to an off leash dog park. My understanding is we take our pets here so they can all play together and socialize. Lately my medium sized dog has been bullied or attacked by a smaller dog. Leading to her getting defensive, because she's bigger or louder I'm always seen as the villain or she's seen as an aggressive animal (heartbreaking cause she so submissive and sweet). All dogs are good dogs, please leave your anti-social ones out of the dog park (they clearly don't like it very much). /Rant

No to all male masseuses

As a female, I never want a male masseuse. I always have female masseuses. I just read yet another story of a woman getting a “full chest massage” without her consent, done by, you guessed it, a male masseuse. Female masseuses are just as strong as male masseuses; I use several that are so strong they bring me nearly to tears LOL. Back when I was in my 20s, a male RMT asked if I wanted to have my kidneys massaged by him using his fingers up my womanhood. I was fuckin creeped out and never went to another male RMT again. I’ll never trust men again touching me.


So I finally closed my account with these dating apps. I never found anyone decent on Tinder, Bumble, Ok Cupid or Hinge. It’s the same boring stupid classless people. I’m tired of the whole online dating thing. It’s really a waste of my time and energy. Starting to feel a bit more calm and relax. Now ever since I got rid of all three of these apps for good. Feels like a breath of fresh air. Moving on now.


You know these people driving around with noisy fancy cars that sound like they are back firing and extremely loud should be given a ticket. It's not a beefy car noise at all, it sounds like you need a good oil change or a proper muffler. I personally think anyone that drives one of these vehicles is saying "Look at Me". Is that your only way of getting attention, You have no other redeeming qualities ? Sad

lay your head down softly...

Upon researching the troubled life of Sinéad O’Connor, I see so many parallels between she and my late mum. Mom, too, suffered extreme abuse in every form both at the hands of her own mother, and then by the priests at her school and church (here in this very city – it was the 60s/70s, times were different), then my father. She suffered mental illness throughout her whole life, had a very profane tongue due to life, and switched religions multiple times in search of solace, only to end up a theist/boarder-line atheist. People frequently snubbed their nose at her, and often didn’t even believe her. “It’s all in your head,” they’d arrogantly say. I cannot imagine how incredibly lonely she must have felt. She spoke out, even hollered, against what she thought was wrong, only to be hushed and insulted or ignored time and time again. She was a wonderful mum, and did everything in her power not to be like her own when raising us. Moreover, she taught us to fight and stay true to ourselves no matter what. When she was diagnosed with terminal cancer in her mid 40s, she told me multiple times that she viewed her illness as her only ticket out of this world, to freedom. When she did pass on seven years later, many still kept on talking bad of her, namely her in-laws. Her own relatives had long died before her. Two extremely beautiful women, my Mum and Sinead are now long gone. Both died heavily misunderstood and isolated. May they rest in peace. Go Raibh Suaimhneas Síoraí Air. Please world: learn empathy.

Catch 22.

So lonely and isolated, I find it difficult to think straight. Yet so depressed and self-conscious, I don't have the energy or ability to reach out and make human connections. And around I go.


Ocean's Door elevator ride, 2450...

Sunday morning at 1030, you got on on the 4th floor. I startled you because I was already on...

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