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Am I even awake anymore?

I was so busy last night - circumnavigated the globe helping others and racing against some clock. Took a flight out of Amsterdam to Boston then Rio and touched down in Antarctica before crossing up the other side of the globe like some ancient cosmic lay line. Full of energy like a returned warrior when I awoke, then collapsed on the couch all afternoon from my efforts. What’s going on on planet earth?

Miss you but...

I am glad you died a few months ago and missed all this. This horrible virus would have probably killed you but it all would have been so much worse. Doesn't mean I don't miss you lots. I talk to you in my head sometimes anyways. I will listen to Dylan and read Salinger to get some comfort.

Covid dreams

Lately my dreams have taken on a nightmarish quality tinged with the sadness that this virus has brought to everyone's life, as we live in fear of contracting an illness that no one knows much about just yet. What is today's nightmare might actually lead to something more positive because it really brings out the best in many people and they will develop new ways of coping as a result. Maybe if we are all really lucky many of those people who drive often and needlessly will suddenly realize their error, and many people who hoarded goods while keeping resources from the rest of us will think twice . It does not require religion but just a wake up call for everyone biologically speaking to understand what is at stake and maybe it is in part the wake up call we were all waiting for in order to make permanent changes in our lifestyles and habits. Let's hope for the future sounds really inadequate, it is more like we have to realize that unless we change we are all in one way or another doomed to fail as a species -- am I the only one who believes that this changes everything?

Dating women online now

Real life is over. Got to date women online. Now I just need someone to message me back... or wait. That will never happen, so we're all doomed to be single forever. I can't wait to live in a real city again... There's something creepy about Vancouver dating.

relationship lockdown

I know a lot of people who's strength of relationship has always been based on time apart. working schedules. modest co-parenting interaction with previous relationships. These people have always had stable strong relationships. I worry for them. faking confidence right now isn't fooling anyone.

Bakers dozen

In a twisted selfish way, the positive (if any) from this Covid-19 pandemic is that I now have the time to watch the Food Network for several hours per day to give me new ideas and improve my baking.

I feel frustrated

Just a text. One line at least telling me to have a good day or asking how I'm doing. Nothing. Is he busy? Nope. He's doing some reading, playing a video game, talking to family. Good for him. Sending a text takes less than a minute. Can he spare the time? Nope. Wow. I check-in. Hey, hope you're doing okay. I facepalm myself. What am I doing? This douchecanoe is making it painfully clear that on his ginormous list of very pressing priorities of like: picking the lint out from between his toes, watching the sway of cobwebs on his bedroom ceiling, contemplating how many squares of toilet paper it really takes to wipe... I don't even make the list. I'm busy with work, family, life, staying sane amidst all this. Yet nothing causes me to feel more perplexed than this persons behavior. Why is that? How am I finding it so hard to kick this guano scum sucking man child to the curb? Maybe because I am desperate to invest in anyone other than myself? Is that why?

Seesaw

When things are up for others, my life is down. And when the world is low, so low, my life looks up; problems suddenly smoothed over. It's like creating a science project for how the human eye processes light. Did you know that through that looking glass things present as upsidedown but that the mind adjusts the image? Finally, it feels like the rest of the world recognizes it. I suddenly feel sane within the insanity. Welcome. You've finally woken up to how the other half lives. While sitting upswung on this playground I wait for the balance to tip the scales once again and for my shoes to drop.

Punching bag purchase.

My sanity and patience is being tested during this Covid-19 pandemic. I need to buy a punching bag or else I'm going to put my fist through my living room wall.

Such low effort men on the apps

I am a woman. I use hinge. If I make the effort to comment on something on your profile and you decide to match but then “invite ____ to start the conversation” don’t expect a response back. Put in some effort. I am going to start giving you guys 24hrs to say something then unmatch.

I SAW YOU

Hey, my eyes are down

I’ve seen you, and I feel you’ve seen me.. ...

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