Search confessions

OCD control stuff

Anyone else have a bit of perfectionist OCD control stuff? Overworrying, wondering and weighing on decisions..even after you've already made them! On sometimes trivial things like a purchase. Thinking too much if you said or did something right. If someone is upset with you or you used the right word in a moment? Thinking the sky might fall if you can't keep some thing under control and a certain way? Only to realize it wasn't remotely something to be distraught or desperate over. I'm working on letting go of petty hidden paranoias, worries and fear/control fixations. Finding a lot more than I thought, and some freedom in that. Knowing in the grand scheme, we have big things to put our faculties on and we don't have to spend our energy on perfections and worries in small things. I really recommend it. Little stuff that you work on can make big results over time in your peace and efficiency, and going in strong wrestle against our nature and preset patterns is so important.


He lives with her rent free. Spends her money on drugs and take out while she sinks deep and quick into debt with the banks and her family. He doesn't work at all. She says she loves him. He has abused her emotionally into taking responsibility for everything in his life. He is holding her hostage mentally. There seems to be no solution except for her to go broke. I bet he'll leave her when he spends all of her resources. I hope she can stay safe until he finishes using her and smashes her heart to pieces. She will lose everything and everyone very soon if she stays in this situation.


I'm glad you like to keep in touch, but I think that you wake me up on purpose on my only day off to seep in.

Not Meant To Be

The night before I "met the parents", I made out with an ex.

How do we protect our water and coasts by being a weak country?

The world is a dangerous place and Canada needs revenue and strategic relationships and we need to bargain from a position of strength. Shutting it all down and becoming a National Park means the United States will probably roll right over us in a few decades...or less.

Life as a man

I regularly wonder, if life is so much easier as a man, why is our suicide rate so much higher?


I love this column. Great idea. Confessors: good news. You are normal. The sociopaths don't confess. They think they are great.

Feel like Vancouver is turning me into an asshole

I got an office job recently in corporate. I've finally realized what that famous quote means. The one where it says something along the lines of "the greatest battle you will ever fight is to remain yourself in a world that is trying to make you the same as everyone else, day by day, etc". This place is soul destroying. Not just the job or the nature of a corporate environment, but this city itself. People out here are completely spiritually bankrupt. Everywhere I go, I just see narcissists and sociopaths. It's so easy to lose your empathy out here and ignore other peoples' suffering, especially once you make it into the "in" crowd in Vancouver. I'm tired of feeling like I have to fake it every day. In 6-8 months, I'm moving out of here. I can't do this anymore and be here. There has to be more to life than this. Even the whole corporate "climb the company ladder" is something sold to us by the media, and by its very structure, it violates human nature. I'm going to fight with all my might and change my life, and not care about what other people think I do with my time here, especially my family. If the things I used to love in my childhood are uncomfortable to look at now, such as books, video games, etc, then it's clear something is wrong, because it reminds me of who I really am at my core. I just hope that when I change my life, I'll be able to acquire riches in a way that is built upon integrity, honesty, and good, and somehow feeds my soul as well. Also, I'm not knocking the people that are truly happy in corporate. Some people are wired for it, others aren't. As long as you're connected to who you are inside and haven't shut out your empathy and you're a happy person, you're golden. I'm just trying to find my way, and it's really been a struggle for a long time.

I'm sorry

Yesterday morning, a spider was crawling on my bathroom ceiling. I scooped it up in a cup and ushered it on outside. Then, when I was walking along Granville street later that morning, I (along with a few other people) noticed a pigeon on the ground, flapping around. It's wing looked like it was broken. My heart dropped but I didn't know what to do so I walked away and hoped it would get the help it needed. The pigeon was gone when I walked by again so I'm hoping someone helped it. I feel like a horrible person.

Why I'm screwed up

I'm crazy-attracted to a man if I feel like I have to prove that I'm worthy of his attention...if I have to show him that I'm talented and capable and accomplished. Or if he is accomplished and I want to prove to him that I'm worthy of his "level". But if a man just likes me without me putting in an effort....I feel nothing. I wonder if this harks back to my childhood when I thought that getting good grades and winning medals would make my dad stop bullying me and actually love me. It never worked.

Please change

Someone I love very much is drinking his life away. It's so sad and it seems nothing I do or say helps. He's such an amazing person sober but when he drinks becomes this selfish, inappropriate, belligerent asshole. He either doesn't realize or doesn't care that he's putting those who love him through absolute hell. I love him so, so much and know that underneath this toxic bullshit there is someone who is hurting deep down. I just wish I could stop the pain for him. Now all I can do is stand by and be there for support when he needs me but it's very hard to support someone that's abusive toward me verbally and emotionally which makes me resent him. I've been losing sleep and if nothing changes I will unfortunately have to cut ties and let him go.

Diverging paths

I’ve known a group of people for 15 years now. We basically met as young partiers and had great times together. With time of course things changed. Some got married, some had kids, some stayed single and devoted themselves to community and charity events, some continued to party. The one person that stands out however is the one who was too cool for school but has turned bitter. I guess it’s a rude awakening when you realize that the party truly is over when you reach middle age. Can you and should you keep doing drugs, staying up all night, having casual sex like a carefree 20 something when you’re in your 40s? I think you can. But maybe the bitterness comes from the emptiness once the music stops, the drugs wear off, the guy goes home and you’re left to wonder how to fill the rest of the weekend, and the weekend next, and weekend after that, alone.

Are you following me?

Fb tells me I have one but won't say who. Whom? Sure hope so. This is a strange neighborhood and I'm not home yet. Sure hope it's you

Missing your ghost

You abused me for over a year and I was honestly as scared of you as I was attracted to you. Since you died I still think about you all the time, but now I'm not afraid. It sucks that it took that to love you. Miss you lots.


Young girl driving a white Toyota beside...

I know this is a shot in the dark, but we were driving next to each other through the middle of...


Savage Love: Asexuals are aces

For these individuals, there is no inherent wish for or desire for sex, and there never has been.