Confessions

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Thank you

You are my partner at work and a dear friend. My heart is full of platonic love for you. Sometimes I wonder if it could be romantic love but I stop that thinking quickly. I can’t say everything about how much I appreciate you because it might come across the wrong way. But I am so lucky to have you in my life and hope I never lose you. I love you.

Cyclists are trying to kill us

Are you a cyclist in the GVA? Do you ride at night with a rapidly flashing light that endangers everyone around you (like another cyclist, driver, or pedestrian who could get a seizure--or in my case a migraine that causes me to completely lose my vision while walking or driving)? If so, please be respectful and turn that solid light on from now on.

Maybe I'm the asshole

I am happy to be single (I date but I'm unmarried) and childfree because I don't want the emotional work that comes with having a family. I am happy to focus on what interests me and I do not feel like I am interested in investing my energy in a husband or children. Being single comes with some sacrifices despite the freedom. No legal benefits, less companionship, all the cleaning and heavy lifting around the house done single handedly, having to text someone to use a ladder so I have a back up if I fall while alone, having to stand up for myself to threatening people when I walk home from the grocery store in the evening, having to be self reliant now and as a senior in the future. It isn't just having no one to answer to, it is also means having no one to turn to which is a consequence I chose to accept. I ended a few friendships recently because of their relationships. I have zero expectations that anyone choose their spouse to please me and I frankly don't care how people choose to live if it doesn't bring me down. What I have no time for is hearing for years about how problematic a partner is without anyone doing anything to change it. One has a husband who became verbally aggressive as soon as the first kid arrived. Now she is mimicking that behaviour with me and her kid. I spent years encouraging the person to help their husband stop putting her down out of habit before it became a problem but now it just became my problem. YIKES. BYE. Have fun with your shitty husband who is paying all your bills and none of mine. I didn't sign up for this. One has a wife who is passively aggressively rude to me when she feels insecure and neglects interacting with her family to play video games online. I tried to be friends with the wife and nothing changed. I listened to her talk for hours about a video game I give no fucks about and nothing changed. I put up with her blaming me for her husbands smoking or drinking the entire time they have known each other and nothing has changed. YIKES. BYE. Have fun with your angry wife who is using me as a scapegoat. I didn't sign up for this. One has a boyfriend who is painfully needy and racially insensitive which is tricky because I'm not white. YIKES. BYE. Have fun with your small town codependent common law husband. I didn't sign up for this. There are others. The one who moved in with a literal alcoholic who was at all of our parties. The one who cried on my shoulder about an ex for a month non stop even showing up to me house for compassion and then casually told me they prefer the friendship of my ex to mine. The two more friends who became the abusers in their relationship despite being perfectly unassuming while single and me pointing out their shift in behaviour. I've listened to each of them vent about work, parents/siblings, past experiences, life and even me for years. I have been happy to offer support consistently. But now that all that I encounter is the influence of their bad romantic choices, I really have better things to spend my time on. Like ANYTHING else. I don't know if this makes me a bad friend but if I wanted to be in an unhealthy marriage I'd be in one instead of working this hard to avoid one. They don't owe me anything, I offered up my friendship willingly. I'm much happier not hearing about their nightmare relationships that they have zero intentions of leaving.

fuck my birthday

"happy birthday" whats so fucking happy about it? if I was never born then I wouldn't have to be here. fuck this "so lucky to be alive" bullshit. I am so jealous of people who get to die in their sleep. the day I die and finally get to leave this shit hole earth and society and all this hatred and never see it again, THAT is the day I should celebrate.

Open letter to the women trying to do harm to my husband

Let me tell you about this man whom I’ve known for over 18 years: He thrives on helping people, and fixing problems. He is a peacemaker. My husband is a man who begins the day with laughter, has a sunny disposition and good energy. He is kind & has literally given the shirt off his back to assist one in need. People including clientele rave about his kindness, generous spirit and all-around positivity. I’m around it everyday and am blessed by it. Even when he has a bad day dealing with bitchy cunts like you, he comes home and is STILL positive. Sorry you ran so much interference the day you met him that you didn’t get a chance to see that lovely man ...it seems as though you were looking at him through a tainted, intolerant, angry filter and wouldn’t have recognized any positive aspects if they smacked you in the face. You have no idea what you missed...and I’m sure you continue to miss such displays of goodness every single day of your miserable lives. (that’s just my opinion) ANYHOW, NO ONE, least of all my husband, deserves abuse and disrespect while they are just trying to do their job. This man whose livelihood you are targeting, also supports a family! Think about that. Why are you are out for blood? How exactly is it serving you? Be honest. A free item from the company? Power and control? Is this how decent people treat their fellow human, with such disdain and disrespect? Take a good look at yourselves in the mirror and ask where it will truly get you. For him, it will affect the family he supports, including his disabled brother. I see people like yourselves everyday-entitled jerks being rude to wait staff, the checkout gal, or the dude behind the counter. Service people are there to provide. And you serve them back with contempt and antipathy...and they are supposed to pander to it? Here’s some advice: Find some true humanity, a little compassion, MOVE ON and lastly, GET A FUCKING LIFE!!!

I build disposable homes

I don't care about the quality of what I build anymore and neither does anyone I work with. Not my coworkers, not my boss and certainly not the developer that hired us. Whats the point? Sometimes the homes we build get left empty sometimes they just get flipped a bunch of times and sold to a foreigner. As long as it looks good when the buyers walk by everybody's happy. We may as well be building movie sets. I don't build with love anymore I build with hate, hate for the rich bastard who hired me to build a mansion just so he could sell it and make a bunch more money, hate for the system that has facilitated this kind of a market, and hate for myself that I have no choice but to continue to build poor quality luxury homes no one can afford to live in. I'm sorry really I am. Please don't buy anything built in last 10 years. Try to find one of those post-war homes that haven't been torn down yet. At least they were built by passionate tradespeople not broken hearted self-hating profiteers.

Crucified Heart

Sure, I suppose you did have my heart, but that doesn't mean you were ever entitled to it. You never owned me. You shouldn't have gone seeking to break it, just for the sake of breaking it. You should have just allowed me to keep moving on to someone that would have actually cared for me. Very heartless and cruel thing to do to another person. I hope you find the spiritual growth you need as a person, and hopefully change to be a better one.

Release...negative emotions

I am feeling overly annoyed with my current situation. Once released into the universe my level of negativity towards this person should dissolve, hopefully. I’m collaborating with another individual on a project, and it’s not going as well as it should be. They are within the category of, take all credit and creative ideas, and call them their own...while doing self promotion all at the same time. The level of selfies and look at me self promoting is making me feel really old, or really nervous for the future population.

Mr. Pibb and Love

I'm not sure if Mr. Pibb was ever available in Vancouver, but it was Coca-Cola's version of Dr. Pepper, just much much better. Then around 2001 tragedy struck and the name and taste changed and the beautiful thing that Mr. Pibb was became lost forever. Now, older and more knowledgeable about health, I don't even drink pop anymore, so I couldn't enjoy it freely like I did as a child even if it was possible to buy it. The same goes with my missed love connection. Even if it was possible that she and I could be a WE, I know more now, and know she's not right for me. But I still think about a lost feeling.

Love Stinks yeah yeah.

I was trying to date this temp at work. She was cute. Really nice. She kept brushing me off. I kept saying lets go for coffee and she would say sure. But it never happened. 3 months later she actually told me via text that she is dating our companys trainer. He is on salary. I am not. Oh well I guess she wanted a guy with more cash. I was nice about it. I texted back and said that I wish you both luck. But it kinda stings when that happens. The old I love them they dont love me scenario. Oh well. Plenty of fish in the sea. I think that I will stay away from women at work. But the problem is we meet so many beautiful people at work. Time to move on.

funding for transit and other infrastructure

Just by imposing a flat fee of $5 per month per cellular phone in Canada would bring in over a hundred million a month. Hardly anybody would notice the difference in their monthly phone bill (except the whining poverty activists) and there'd be more money than anyone could handle for a wide range of projects. Bridges , tunnels, freeways you name it! Only problem is that telecommunications revenue is a Federal piggy bank and the Feds aren't famous for doling the money out fairly once they've collected it

it's the poor people too

rich folks get a lot of crap in this city, as they should, given how the economy is and all. but as one of the poor residents of this city I can tell you it's not just them. there's a horrible crab mentality among the poorer folks. that's why anyone with a lick of talent and sense leaves Vancouver.

Love

Yes, I'm in pain and I don't agree with any of it and I'm torn up over how it was done. But I want my ex to know that I love them and I want them to be well and happy. And I also want them to know that I don't much care about being with anyone else right now (nor for the foreseeable future); I'm working on myself properly for the first time in my life. I have an inkling that they think I'm focused on replacing them, and that couldn't be further from the truth. Anyway - it's too bad that we can't/shouldn't talk. I can't because of the pain, but it also hurts to think that I might live my life and die without ever speaking to them again. I sort of wish we could just read each other's minds and give each other a mental hug or something. But even that would hurt me.

What *I* hate about breakups...

...are people who promise the world and then run away when things get hard and then blame the other person.

Windiws

Why are most of you sensitive people so scared to open/shut windows on the bus??? I just opened 2 and people behind me followed and opened 4 more. Why can’t you just open or shut them on your own? Why can’t you think of that yourself? And then put it into action. So many times I’ve neen on hot stuffy transit and NOT ONE person opens a window. I have to instruct someone to do it if I can’t. What is wrong with you people??

I SAW YOU

95 Mornings

You take the 95 to downtown in the mornings, head to toe black always, skinny black pants, black...

SAVAGE LOVE

Savage Love: Micro-infidelities and other toxic concepts

We are living in a culture that defines absolutely everything as cheating.