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Bipolar mess

Bipolar disorder is ruining my relationship with my boyfriend. The last week I have blown up on him over nothing. I'm stuck in a manic episode. People seem to think manic means super happy. For me it means extremely irritated and angry. He's been very patient with me but lately I think he may be seeing someone behind my back ... and I don't blame him. I've been feeling suicidal. I've been pushing him away and acting extremely irrational. I try to stop but it's like I'm a puppet and someone is pulling my strings. The worst part is when I think I'm actually being reasonably mad and he says "have you taken your meds today?". I immediately tell him to go fuck himself and storm off but then start thinking maybe he's right... I'm just crazy. I don't want to live like this anymore. I sabotage every single relationship. I just don't want to be here anymore. Want to drive as far away as possible and keep on driving.

What do you all do?

I'm curious what you all do for work and how much do you honestly make (and approximate age) to afford to live in this city. Because I have two degrees and I ain't killing it.

1988-2018 - 30 years of masturbation

Celebrating 30 years of self administered orgasms. Started out as a biological urgency. It always has been satisfying in between sex with men.

Are men and women capable of just being friends?

I'm a woman and I've been trying to prove to my friends that it's possible for a woman to just be friends with a guy. So far it's been difficult, to say the least. Most guys I've met and talked to get the wrong idea and think I'm interested in them, when I'm just being polite and making conversation. Another guy friend tried to take advantage of me, steal a kiss and grope me when he had me alone. I'm seen as "a catch" I suppose, but I am still holding out hope that I will be able to meet a decent man I can be friends with somewhere, somehow. I'm sure it can be done, I've seen other women with guy friends. And I'm not interested in friends with benefits either. It would just be nice to go out with a guy, as friends, without any of the expectations of a date.

2018

I’ve been so stressed out this year that I wish my poop came with a date stamp

This Annoys Me

I go on a date with a woman at a regular restaurant and my bills something like $20-$25 and her bills about $100 because she has to buy these expensive drinks with her food. Of course since I am the man I have to pay or I am never going to get a second date and be labelled cheap. What annoy me the most is I have never had a woman even pretend to make a grab at her purse when the bills comes its just expected I have to pay.

Hiding behind a sea of technology

There is this thing that keeos happening. I cannot get a word out. I cannot express a feeling or a thought. Because you sit there hidden behind your screen quietly deleting me at every turn. Why can’t you just leave me be? You won’t listen to my grievances so I share them anonymously out in the world. You won’t give me closure so I pour myself out to strangers for release. But, still, you control and manipulate and degrade me. Please, leave me be to heal and move on!

She wasn't there

when God was giving out brains. So I met this girl off a dating app a week ago. She looked ok, looked decent. So I decided to give it a try and took her out to a fancy restaurant. Everything was great until she opened her mouth. She was talking like non stop about all the loosers she had met in this city before me. It gave me an idea that that number wasnt small. Every 10 minutes....omg... she took another selfie for her instagram. And then she started bashin on Trump and praising Hillary and how great of a leader she would have been. When I asked her about Killlary's ties to Saudi Arabia founding her presidential campaign she changed in face like "how you dare?!" A caountry where women are equal to dogs in rights today?! Whatever. At that women I politely told her that i need to go to washroom, where in fact I just called our water by the kitchen and paid my part of the bill and left the restaurant quickly through the back unnoticed. She ordered food and drinks worth of over 130 bucks. My part came up to 35. My every date is like a contest. Every next date is trying to act weirder & dumber. I'm exhausted. Where are they all coming from?! Shit

What a mess !

Uncertainty and fear as home life is flailing. In fact, the problems with the work of domestic life are so deep to the point of feeling lost. Phoniness reigns at work and it’s misery. Marriage is a losing battle of being judged and condemned, and while feeling guilty there's the realization of not feeling as much. Meanwhile, thoughts of how what makes one warm inside from the past reveals loose threads that can’t be let go of, and this realization is jarring because the source is outside of one's world. What a conundrum, huh? Anyone would feel crappy going through this alone.

Content Delivery

I say Netflix's selection looks like an old video rental store, but you don't even know what those were....

Oger Hearing Update

Today we had a woman from Peru come to the hearing with a sign quoting the bible. She didn't unfurl it because the Nazi Tribunal told her she wasn't allowed to hold a sign, even tho they didn't even give her a chance to make representations, they just ordered her without hearing. Classy! Anyway, she said that in Peru they still have freedom of speech, you can say what you like. Really sad that Canadians have less freedom than Peruvians. Maybe Canadians have more "safety" or "human rights," but we certainly have less freedom.

Dating in Vancouver isn't THAT hard

I've read so many posts about this by now, and I'm at the point where I just want to sit down and have conversations with these people. I want to see what they're doing, how they're presenting themselves, what's going on. I've been in three relationships in a year and a half. Yes, I'm a serial monogamist. I met two online, and my current one was through mutual friends. Two of these three men were homeowners, one spent more money to rent downtown than he would on a mortgage. They're all educated people with goals. My experiences online are that if you're patient, you'll go on plenty of dates (so long as you consider 1-2 per week plenty). I'm not an enormously pretty girl, and yes, I know it's easier for women, but I'm apparently charming enough that I get first dates and occasionally end up meeting people I'm into. I used OkCupid because I liked getting more info on people ahead of time. I wrote my profile in a way that people had good openers and immediately had stuff to talk about. They could gauge my values, intelligence level, interests, and sense of humour. Lots of very classically handsome men sent me a single message and then never contacted me again, probably because I'm not actually their type (I'm not polished, I could lose some weight, I'm really just averagely attractive). I put thought and effort into replies, quickly developed long conversations with people, and worked hard to assess their values before I met them. It helped. My girlfriends who don't use online dating say it's impossible to meet people. The men I know say the same. I get the impression that many of these people are: A) pickier with looks - I date attractive men, they're just all below 6' ;) B) not using the best photos C) not good at talking to strangers This isn't to say dating here isn't hard. It just isn't THAT hard. I have friends who do VERY well - both men and women - because they put in the effort. I have friends who have moved to places like NYC and Toronto and have had a much easier time getting dates, but are still single. I once explained to a girlfriend "how" I date, and she said, "oh, so upon actually try." Honestly, at this point, I'm tempted to just tell men to go get their friends to take some nice pictures of them (I did that for a couple friends and it's helped them enormously). All ya'll wondering, though, where the good men are, saying there aren't any here, look AROUND you. Vancouver is a terrible place to live. We're all poor, frustrated, and our political and social climate is toxic. This wealthy environment leaves people tired, frustrated, and lonely. But that doesn't mean there aren't decent men and women out there. I know because my friends and I have gone on dates with many of them. And in case anyone is wondering: I unmatched people who opened with "hey" and I didn't match with anyone who came off as jaded or bitter. But seriously. It's not THAT hard.

I SAW YOU

Tall with nice smile

I saw you riding the 130 bus at 7:30 in the morning on Dec 14 the 2018, (and other mornings as...