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My heart’s desire

Socrates said that life contains but two tragedies: one is not to get your heart’s desire, the other is to get it. I’m living this right now, and it’s tearing me apart. I literally feel torn. I can’t sleep, I can barely function, all because I’m so torn about this decision I feel I have to make. Falling in and out of love over and over again with the same person. This has gone on for so long. I feel like I’m in the fallen out of love phase right now. I’m just not feeling the same way anymore. I’m not even sure that I love them at all, other than just basic affection and caring for someone I’ve known for so long. Everything changed about a week ago, after a conversation we had that left me feeling hopeless for anything to ever change in our relationship in a way that I need it to. Since then I have just wanted them to leave. The thing is though, that I know in a while I’ll be missing them again when they’re gone. The definition of insanity and all that; we’ve done this so many times. I thought we’d finally figured out the trick to making it work, but now I’m feeling disappointed and sad. It’s such a brutal decision to face, right at Christmas, knowing that I’m going to hurt them and myself as well. I’m facing the likelihood of being alone for the rest of my life (we’re not young) and that in itself is daunting. I keep hoping that the feeling will come back, but at the same time I feel that I’d just be deluding myself if I keep doing this. Oh well, back to the pondering....thanks for listening.

Theory About Lattes

Okay, so I had an idea recently. Coffee is one of The drinks for adults drink, but where did this idea of steamed milk come from? Is it reminiscent of breastfeeding? A combination of trying to adult and be soothed like an infant. I heart lattes.

I hate musicals

I don't know why, but I do. I think Frozen would've been a perfectly good cartoon if there wasn't all that singing in it. Blech.

I Wake Up Every Morning

To the 80's. The sounds are full of waking movement, that I feel carried out of bed. To me nothing compares to starting the day with music.

I have to confess

I have been at the very least on a bad drug induced trip and it led me on very strange path. The fact is I've said and done things both I meant from the heart and others I said in confused and frustrated anger. Fact is I never really knew all the details was guessing at best. It doesn't matter we all have made some bad choices. Regardless I forgive any things that may have been directed my way. I just hope that any of you who know me can forgive the same way. It's time to stop the spin cycle it's killing all that matters.

I'll be justified

They're hiring me. I'm going to know who you are for sure very soon.

Antsy transit operators?

Is it just me or are the transit operators (bus) kind of antsy (impatient?) today? On two separate occasions today, the operators were loudly saying, “hurry up, I’m behind. Let’s go. Just don’t pay and get to the back of the bus cause I’m late”.

I'm kind of a Netflix fanatic

I like how it doesn't follow CBC PC broadcasting rules. They just make good film. Not everything has to be university campus bubblewrapped.

To the woman on a red car crossing at Fir & Broadway

Hey, I was walking my dog, we saw that the light was about to turn red and thus we waited for the pedestrian lights to turn on, however a woman on a red car decided not to even turn to check the crossing and straight up passed and blocked the crosswalk. She ended up blocking it as she couldn't move as the ppl on W 12th had green light. I passed behind your car and tapped your car (as I always do to people who do not respect the transit rules, which state that pedestrians have right of way even over cyclists etc, and most importantly, when marked), and pointed you to the pedestrian lights. You proceeded to show me the middle finger. I'm gonna tell you something, you better be more aware of what you do when driving your red mid tier hatchback. It is also my responsibility to be aware of what stupid drivers do, but do not think you are in the right. People die every day due to stupid drivers, and you had the chance to accept your mistake and say sorry or something, instead you showed your lack of education by showing your finger. Please don't come back to my neighborhood.

Heritor of Blame

Everyone deals with rejection. You're not special. You can choose to move forward with your life. Or stay here and demean someone who chose to move on with theirs. In the past she might of loved you. When you had her love you chose to reject her and put her down in the hopes she would feel insecure enough to be with you. Your pain over now being rejected doesn't entitle you to interfere with her happiness. It didn't work. It's your fault. You are the sole owner of the blame. Accept that and move on.


Waiting for the Bathroom at Uncle Abe's

We talked while we were waiting in line for the washroom. You let me go ahead of you. You were...

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