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Grant me a wish

I really hope the vaping industry folds

In order of priority

When someone sends an email at work where there are a number of recipients, I like to see where I am on the list. Did they type my name in first or am I last? Did I come to mind before the boss or before a certain co-worker? Where do you stack up in group emails? First person that comes to mind or the after thought?

Glory Quest

Not sure how to tell my boyfriend I'm zoo curious, he's not exactly a wild and crazy guy.


I came here from far away. The other coast of Canada. Every time I take a vacation, I feel obligated to visit home even though I never really want to. My parents are there, they are getting old and their health is not great. They are retired and don't have much going on in their lives. I know they won't be around much longer, and my visits brighten up their lives a bit. So I always end up booking a ticket back east to see my parents and the friends I used to smoke weed with in high school... But I want to see the world! I want to go to Japan, Chile, Ukraine, New Zealand! But every time I end up going back to my boring old hometown and seeing the same people and places I grew up around. I know it is my choice to do that. But I don't exactly feel free to choose otherwise. One of these trips I just wanna say fuck it and go to Portugal or something. Anywhere but Nova Scotia! I spent 25 years there, I have visited tons of times. I want to see somewhere new! Damn it why can't I put myself first sometimes!

Don't know what to do.

I need to change jobs but don't know what to do. I have worked as a mechanic for decades but as I age that is getting too hard on my hands and I can't do it anymore. I don't want to work in customer service because I am highly introverted and talking to people drains my energy too much. I don't want to do office work because it would kill my soul. I am trying to learn to trade stocks but that is very challenging and will take years to learn if I can do it, and I don't have much capital to work with. At this point I almost feel like giving up my apartment and living on the street. But I don't want to do that. I just don't really know where to go from here. I don't think retraining or school is an option because I don't have much money, won't go into debt, and can't think of what to do. I am totally confused and running out of time and getting more anxious. I know we all face similar challenges. I don't mean to sound holier than thou, I just know I am not very well suited to most kinds of work. I could handle being alone and fixing stuff, but that has to stop or I'll have arthritic fingers by the time I'm 40. Thanks for listening.

I was too young to marry

I was 23 and she was 33. She was a widow of only a year with two little kids, I only wanted to be friends at first....we both had traumas. I helped her around her house, we hung out for supper, I was way immature but I had a frigging amazing job that paid a lot! I think she saw security in me for her kids, and an opportunity for herself to breath a little without financial concern. We did start dating, but honestly I didnt want the package, I just wanted a friend to talk with and share common healing from trauma....but she wanted marriage and security. I totally buckled to the pressure and we got married. We fought a lot up to the wedding, but so much had been put into it, I think we both felt too much pressure to keep it going. I knew it was wrong to get married to her from the very beginning. She was way too messed up from the death of her first spouse....I was too young and too messed up from my own trauma. Many years later, after many bad fights, lots of her bad drug usage, police calls, her hitting me many times, I finally had the courage (yes courage) to tell her I was not in love with her and I wanted a divorce. The divorce has been total hell, her kids hate me, her family hates me, I am a devil reincarnate, and her dead husband is the hero...he was there for 2 years of the oldest life, I was there for 16. I feel it was a total waste of time for me, that we all would be better off if I had more courage when I was only Ive raised two kids that dont want anything to do with me, I pay 2600 a month in child support and Im on the hook for their university. But since Im not the biological or adoptive parent I have no rights. I really hope that I can recover emotionally from this, I really hope they can too. Jeez this feels good to get off my chest

Family and choices

Now that I am older I can see that in the past I made serious life choices based on family relationships such as career choices or job choices based on where family lived and how they felt about me. I also chose to live my life according to what was best for my husband for many years. As a result I never really pursued what was in my heart or my abilities and as a consequence of that my career has not been able to survive serious health issues plus some disadvantages that I already had, so now I have realized that I should have lived life as if they were not so important, but it is obviously too late. They are no longer in my life, some have died, some have just not stayed close, and it is me who has to live with my choices so from now on it has to be a choice that makes sense for me. There is still time to have some of those experiences that I once hoped for and never realized that will make the difference, when I look back at the end of my life.

Mental Health Advice

I have recently joined an online facebook group that shares their mental health experiences with people from all over the world participating and I must say, it is more helpful to access the group's comments and learn from them than all the years visiting psychiatrists on a monthly basis. I feel that my own problems which are truly not so serious as some, can be better managed when I understand the range of mental health challenges that various people are facing. And for once, people are not putting other people down online for sharing emotions, for admitting they are suicidal and have trouble with medications, that they cannot get along with their family friends or a significant other. If someone is out of line, someone else will make a comment and the group or a moderator has dealt with it, so far. I wish that it was more socially acceptable to have discussions face to face with people about mental health but this allows people to be relatively anonymous while participating, and it is a very supportive group and free.

Failed climate activist

After 12 years as a commuter cyclist—a one-man carbon sink in fact—I finally got tired of all the well meaning earnest self-sacrificing and bought a car. The first time I've ever bought a car purely for pleasure. Of course I still cycle to work—what could be more insane that sitting in traffic every day?—but when the week-end comes, for the first time in years I have a car waiting in my driveway to take me on whatever adventure I choose.

2020 soon enough

This year has been sad for me. I know it's early but I really can't wait for it to finally be over and done come December 31st. Let's see...I got blinded side by a person whom I thought was a true friend until I realized that he just used me to pay for his booze. Then I found out that someone else from my past died six months ago and I never even got to say goodbye. Went through some job changes over the summer and it's been hard adjusting to a new routine. There are times when I feel like crying because of all this stress, but I'm doing the best that I can to persevere past it.


Beautiful Smile on the 240

I didn't notice you until we were across the bridge where it was standing room only and...

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