Search confessions

Nothing Beats

Being mobbed and nibbled on by a clowder of 5 week old kittens, in my humble opinion. I'd love to receive a basket of kittens everyday if it were possible and just watch my stress melt away while trying to cuddle them all.

Can't find justification but annoyed

So I went to a hot yoga class. I only go there sometimes because I don't like how most of instructors talk during classes. But I went there anyway. This particular instructor called a sitting posture where you sit on your feet/legs with your knees bent "Japanese style". He called it that way so many times. Then I got so annoyed. ( I am Japanese, by the way. ) But I couldn't find any justified reason why I got so annoyed. Somehow I feel he should call the posture like 'sitting on your legs with your knee bent' or something like that. I don't know Am I just self-conscious ?

Something weird going on

I might just be paranoid, but THE DAY I decide to look up new TVs online my old tv stops working. Won't turn off and no picture... never had an issue with this tv. I was planning on moving it to the bedroom if, IF I decided to get a new tv. Well, no choice now. Shouldn't have looked up TV's from my google account I guess.

I am crazy about

kinky girls... don't know how girls feel about us guys.... but oh wow. They're amazing :)

Need to atone

Was thinking about everything I've done wrong (well, maybe not everything, but lots of things) and what first popped into mind was the day fifty years ago when I walloped a little girl with my roller skates. It's true she was a snob and bossy, but nobody deserves that. Even my father couldn't make me apologize to her. Apologizing was worse than the beating I'd get for refusing to apologize. Still, I don't understand all the dynamics behind that incident and how it continues to affects my world view. I know that I sometimes think that men who hurt women are punished without looking at the role the woman might have played in inciting that violence—but even saying that out loud would be very unfashionable these days. I need to atone for creating an anti-social fracture in my life, to my father for defying him, and to her for hurting her.

Sex Jams

I know there are folks that maintain playlists of music that they have playing while having sex with their partners; and, that's perfectly okay with me. If you want to listen to Donna Summer's "Love to Love You Baby" in the background, go for it. I love listening to music of all kinds most of the time, just not while I'm having sex. I don't like the idea of having music in the background because I find it distracting when I'm trying to pay attention to my partner, their body and what they're saying/vocalizing.

Through A Blue Lens

I'm at an odd period in my life. Now that I'm long out of university and high school, I'm finding myself re-watching the documentaries that my teachers made me watch all those years back. Through A Blue Lens is one of them. I don't even live in BC any more, but never the less I feel like the documentary now is much more meaningful than it was when I first saw it 20 or so years ago. When I first watched it, it meant nothing. When I watched it this time around, I became very emotional and cried. Age does that, I suppose. Some things we should only watch or read when we are mature enough to grapple it. The same goes with re-reading books at a different point in life. It's funny. When you're young, dumb, and think you're Super whoever, you stuff your parents or teachers try to show you simply doesn't phase you. We assume that they never were in our shoes. Then you live a little and fly on our own, taste the good and bad of life, and then come back to their lessons and are like, "woah, where the fuck was my head at the time?". I'm not saying live in the past---no, that never works. However, when all the beautiful people who were once in your life are six feet under or married and have long forgotten you, their lessons on humanity can sure come in handy, even if it takes 20 years to sink in. Re-watch Through a Blue Lens, or re-read an old book. You might be surprised at what it was people were trying to teach ya.

Leave me alone (or don't)

I used to be super shy, listen to people talk crap about me without saying anything back, and care what people thought of me. In the past year I have become more outspoken, confident, and assertive yet respectful at the same time, which I am quite proud of. Sometimes I am still shy though, which is alright. It is important to help others and take care of yourself as well, but lately I am tired of having to attend events once in a while with people who I used to know that always talk about the same things and it gets really boring. I don't relate anymore. I want to say no thank you in the future, but I am too nice to make an excuse not to go. Sometimes I just want to do nothing and relax when it's my day off. I am fine socializing and spending time with people, yet I need time to recharge, especially since my job is exhausting depending on the week. Some people do not understand that it is a nice luxury to be alone sometimes and they should not take it personally if you do not want to see them. I have family and friends who are nice and I talk to often. It's just that certain people are stressful and it feels like an obligation to see them. I think I need to make more friends my own age who are interested in the same things and/or get a boyfriend hahaha. I'm a female in my 20s btw. Does anyone else feel this way too? Feel free to comment with nice, helpful, respectful advice if you want, or even mean advice. I want to hear it all. Thank you everyone.

I confess that older memories

Have been cropping up in my thoughts lately. It wouldn’t be so bad but a lot of the memories are extremely unpleasant and It’s not fun revisiting those times. Stuff I haven’t even remotely thought of for years. I recently switched to a different anti-depressant and I’m not enjoying this peculiar side effect.

Dreams that seem so real

I had a dream about someone from my past last night and it seemed so real. It left me missing them even more today. I wish we could still be friends, that we hadn't fucked it all up.


Chinatown Plaza on Keefer

I was taking photos and your comments caught me off guard. I didn't know what to say. Coffee...

More on