I keep dwelling on how one minute I was just trying to survive in this city pre-pandemic, which involved staying afloat and trying to keep it together. And the next minute, I am now realizing how trivial the bulk of my concerns were and how easily that house of cards could come tumbling down.
The big difference is I don't go out to shop as much (which is nice), stay 2 meters away from people in line-ups (which is REALLY nice!), and the rest of my life stays about the same. I work, am too tired to socialize after work, but I found a tiny bit of extra time to exercise almost every day. Yoga and running... and I always run by myself, so that's the same. Yoga replaced bouldering (which I would do mainly by myself anyways). Now I'm on the computer by myself.
The only thing I will miss is the family dinners, although I am an introvert and I find those really emotionally exhausting, as much as I want to be there.
All those social butterflies are just dying, eh? Welcome to reality. Work and no play... Although, if you don't want anymore either, you may just go crazy.
Dunno how or why? My dreams have been more vivid & intense over the last week/s. Dreams of Living simple village life in some time /place/people i can't place or identify. Maybe it's better that i can't, it allows the message & lessons to be more pure & universal. I plan to share what comes thru as recall allows.
My life wasn't so worthless
I painted my nails a whorish red. It's as close as I've gotten to being whorish. When the coronavirus is over, that is going to change
I remember my grandfather always saying to me that "you should always have 3 months expenses in cash put aside for emergencies"..now I know exactly what he meant...it all goes well until something like this virus pops up ....he raised his kids during the depression and most likely was taught that lesson back then...he has been gone a long time now...I wish he was still around to share more of his wisdom with me...
In New West and a woman on a treadmill caught my eye.
Kinda shocked, I figured I must be looking into a private office.
It was an open gym with multiple people working out!!!
So you inconsiderate a-holes at the gym on 6th Street in New West, Go fuck yourselves!!
I’ve been diagnosed for years with General Anxiety Disorder, take meds to dull it etc.
I can’t help but think everyone is now feeling what I’ve felt my whole life. Welcome to my world folks...shitty isn’t it!
I couldn’t have asked for this pandemic at a better time. I haven’t been in a vacation in over 5 years.
Isolation I can do. Not seeing my friends and family is hard, but doable. Eating my own cooking everyday? Not ideal but again, not a big deal. What can I no longer do? Suffer the indignation and self righteousness of every fucking expert online and in the streets. Everyone's expertise and judgmental holier than thou attitude is getting very fucking tiresome. Righteous indignation is spreading faster than the virus. When this is over i'm done, fuck this city, fuck all cities. I'm gonna find some forest and fuck off.