I think that petting a strange cat's bottom is interspecies sexual abuse.
It's the most inevitable thing in our lives on earth and not worrying about makes me not worry about lesser life stresses and they are all lesser.
I have a different way of being in this dichotomy living day in day out.
Derived from hate, fear and the things that make me horny.
Still if I want it I have to hate it to love it. If I need it I have show interdependence to keep it. Should I chose love well fear is the result I live in the most, is this a conscious choice or am I a lunatic fringe thinking in chaos only. I want to be loved dearly only an asshole says they do not. Yet every love I've ever thought was going to be unbelievably amazing, was a cow patty at best. I am fucking pissed with this code I hate myself now along with all the others. I refuse to cry ever again. I am going to revert back to the man I was before, sure he's scum but well liked. The pussy I chose to become in a betterment of self is a doormat for all. Doormat no more, step up now and it's splat, check me if you think I am lying. Brand new day, brand new world, end times end games.
Vancouver is filled with business owners and managers who have no idea how to be a boss, and then complain about how hard it is to fill positions.
Don't be surprised if your business has a bad reputation because you are cheap or a jerk.
After interviews, follow up, don't ghost.
If you are demanding post secondary qualifications, don't offer minimum wage.
Know the labour laws.
Don't assume everyone is out to get you, because you have terrible people picking skills and are to cheap to hire HR or recruitment specialists.
Be a good boss, you'll find good employees.
If you can't afford good employees, maybe you shouldn't be in business.
If a person can't simply text When & Where, I don't have time for them.
Don't know what it takes to be liked and accepted... Feel like i'm always just trying to make friends, be with a better group, be more well-rounded.. but nobody really wants to hang out with me... how do i make friends that like me for me?
When people with coffee stains on their teeth ask me for a third and fourth refill while staring at me all wide eyed and quivering it makes me want to pour it over their head.
* disclaimer - before you start with the "dont let the door hit you" shit, i'm leaving because my industry is, not because im saying "fuck you, vancouver" or my own failures *
vancouver has been home for 20 years for me and the countdown is on until my departure.. a culmination of circumstances led me to make the hard call take a really good job offer in a city i once used to live.
theres a lot of things i'm going to miss and lot of things that im not going to miss. not going to be fooled by any grass is greener stuff but its going to be good to leave. i cant really talk about it to the people with families that are hanging on by their fingernails, but everyone i talk to who has left confides that there is a certain darkness and depression that vancouver has. they're just letting me in on it now. (besides all the awful politics of real estate and homelessness)
the flakes are certainly showing their true colours now that the clock is ticking.
this last season has been one of the lowest points in my life and im looking forward to a change in lifestyle and habits, meeting new people, exploring more culture and places, doing the things that i am good at besides just working all the time and actually dating again.
i will come back once a year in september, my favourite month here. then i will still see all the people i only saw once a year anyway.
Yesterday while passing through a busy place, somewhere I pass through regularly, I noticed a busker who I recognized as the ex of someone I used to know. He lied to this person about his sexual history and his HIV status, and transmitted the virus to them. He also tried to hook up with me, lying again about his status, not knowing that I knew. While I don't want to promote criminalization of HIV, I don't know that I would mind if he were prosecuted. Perhaps that's what it would take to make him stop lying to prospective sexual partners.
I let my dog poop on the lawns of all the brand new empty houses that displaced my neighbours. Let the real estate devils pick it up.