Confessions

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Always a sinner never a saint

As much as I like my future mother in law (FMIL)and try to get along with her there are SOME things that I won’t put up with, from anybody, let alone future extended family. My FMIL has crossed a line that I can not look past by sending me religious type YouTube videos, of her particular faith. ( I tried to be courteous to her and tried to watch the videos but couldn’t watch more than a few minutes) In all the years prior to dating her son, I’ve made it clear to her that I have absolutely zero interest in any sort of religion, she has never done something of this nature. I can’t imagine what triggered or influenced her to do such a thing and I’m unsure of HOW I should respond back to her. I’ve thought of a few responses, (1)Be honest and tell her I tried, I still have zero interest, thank you !. (2)Send her videos on ALL the reasons I can’t stand any religion, but still tolerate them, for the sake of humanity and personal respect. (3)Or just ignore her, cause I don’t know what else to do.

Liquor store

I shaved this morning and left to the strip mall. Got ID’d at the beer store :) I’m mid-thirties and I asked the lady how old she thought I was...she said under 30 :D fuck yeah!! Love it!!!

I misread it all

All that tenderness. The need to be together. I mistook compassion for more. Confirmation bias. I am embarrassed and hope you can forgive me.

Dinos in spaaaaaaace

I confess the only thing I find interesting about the SpaceX launch into space is that there is a cute sequin stuffed TY dinosaur on board.

Reverse engineering burgers

ViA just recently released a list of top 10 hamburgers in Vancouver.... I can't afford to eat at these places though (oh god! they would probably force me to tip 25% for take-away right now too). ... so I am scoping the article that shows each burger.. and they look really simple to re-invent at home. They list all the ingredients and you can see the patty and tell if there are additional herbs and spices in it. I think I have a fighting chance at this. Why haven't I been making my burgers at home? This is something where it might actually be a win for me.

Irony

I got blocked on social media all because I called someone out on their bullshit. Why do people constantly get attacked for speaking up and telling it like it is? I prefer people to be honest and upfront with me instead of beating around the bush.

kidless

I could not imagine bringing a kid into this world right now. Yes, the world's been screwed up for a long time, and this sentiment is not new. But everything's come to a head this year, and the future for future generations seems dimmer than ever.

Stuffies

They do not do the baby penguin justice. I want to brave the cold of Antarctica and hug a real baby penguin - a baby gentoo penguin, in particular. I'm just in one of those moods where I want hold a real cute little animal, if only just for a little while so the sad goes away.

Sandwiched

I am in a building where both my neighbours, above and below, like to eat tuna and eggs often so I constantly smell tuna and eggs. I know this is just the way it goes, and of course they smell my food too. But it's just tuna and eggs...almost every day the smell of tuna and eggs when I'm not eating them...ugh

The despair of being partnered with an addict

Found out by accident about my long term partner sex addiction. It appears that it started through online sex chats and escalated to sharing videos and photos with a large network of people in our local area (we share a phone plan). He admitted to living a dual life, it looks like there’s a network of 50+ people. I don’t know if they have met in person. After finding out I left to be with family and take care of myself. Since then, I don’t know what’s happened but he’s ended up in the hospital detox program and is now going to rehab. In addition to sex addiction there’s also substance use. I don’t have the details yet. He confessed to his friend and suggested that friend tell me because he was too sad. I told the friend I was not ready and said “honestly there’s so much I don’t even know where to start.” I am feeling at the lowest of lows. I love him, we’ve been together 10 years. He had addiction problems as a youth. I heard recently from my counsellor that “addicts aren’t bad people, they make bad choices.” This upset Me because I have this internal battle. My empathy for others can be a weakness. I am so heartbroken. I am stable person with a good career. I did always want more from him - stability. So I face seeing someone who I love so much with an illness but who also has hurt me tremendously. It’s still too early but the prospects of leaving him are ripping my heart to pieces. However, what he’s done to me is also ripping my heart to pieces. I’m meditating and getting counselling but this has been really traumatic for me.

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