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so cold

There is nothing worse then silence. Especially when you don't understand why. Don't leave people on read. Grow the hell up and communicate like an adult instead of saying nothing at all and letting things fall apart. It's unhealthy . Why throw away such a long friendship away ? At least say why. You say you want unconditional love. But once you have it you run from it and treat the person like a resource, like an option and pull on there heart string, giving them false hope, and trampling on there heart and not even caring. That's brutal . Do you even care that your destroying me . You pretended to love me for what why? I love you and let you into my home to help you but you took advantage of that. You were mean and played with my feelings ,disrespected me and my home. I didn't want to kick you out but what choice did I have. You didn't help with anything not even cleaning up. All I wanted was just a little effort. I would have went to the ends of the earth for you .yet you can't even be bothered to at least tell me why. I lost I lied and I sure cried for you. I knew we would never be together, but I thought we would be friends for ever. I don't know what to do I'm stuck between holding on and walking away. I don't want to walk away. Your my first and last thought everyday. I worry about you. My entire playlist reminds me of you. No matter how hard I try to forget you or hate you I can't. I went into the dark and met your demons, and I chose to love and stay anyway. I don't understand why you came back and said all the right things and convinced me you actually loved me just to hurt me so f**king bad.

to be or not to be

Much like a high school athlete who never evolves past that early life success, I've always wondered if I would want to have been a one hit wonder. I knew a few people who developed out of BC as big hits in the late 90's and 00's. Being their age at the time, of course its envy. With the pandemic and people re-uniting, I noticed many of them had. Re-uniting to that exact thing they were. My best years have been my last 10-15. They're increasingly good. I don't know that I would trade it in to be a global phenom for a year or small fragment of time. I ran into one of my friends and their eclectic hair style that was progressive and chique, is the one they currently had. As an older person. They hated high school athletes, and all I could think was turned into something so very similar.

Mama always said

My mom always told me that she inherently thought parents try to do right for their kids. Sure my dad had walked out and disproved that in many ways, but for the most part I let her have her beliefs. The last few years changed my mind through. Social media, vaping, energy drinks, online gambling, a pandemic that in Canada stretched an extra year longer than the rest of the worlds. Everyone of those things are red flags that we knew before hand, and have allowed to happen anyways. Young adults are passing at a higher rate due to drugs than any time in BC history. If we're doing things right why have every metric we use to measure crashed and burned the last few years. Can't always blame everything bad on a boogie man.

I feel lost

I don't know what to do he means everything to me . My brain tells me to stop trying and my heart screams not too. He said he loved me then disappears. I don't know what to make of the situation. Do I wait or leave. I've never loved someone as much as I do him. I tried to have dinner with someone else after he distanced himself . But all I could think about was him. It's always only him

Dank you veddy much

Someday, I’d love to disappear from everything. I’ve had this fantasy of faking my own death and just like Andy Kaufman. What a brilliant unique comic genius. He was the Joaquin Phoenix and Sacha Baron Cohen of the 70s.

Environmentalists in a board room meeting

All there to make money. It's sort of strange that we call them environmentalists. They clearly flew overseas to be there. There's a lot of social status given to these people..... Why do they always seem to hijack environmentalism and run it amuck? It's a bit like when Mr. Burns becomes an environmentalist with the Little Lisa processing plant that incidentally harvests all ocean life to create a generic ooze that is used in lots of industry. He recycled the 6-pack can containers holding together the net catching the sealife. That made it "environmentalism".

Proud

One of the most interesting parts of being a parent is watching your children grow. This doesn’t change as they become adults and parents themselves either. I love watching the way they mature and learn and change. It’s also taught me to be more forgiving of myself as I watch them make some of the same mistakes that I did when I was younger. Now I understand that I was just fumbling along trying to do my best just like everyone else. I’m so proud of the humans I made because each one of them are truly kind and thoughtful people, and to me that’s what really matters in life. How we treat others is how we will be remembered. I hope they will remember me fondly.

Cruel

To pretend to love someone to spare there feelings only makes it worse. Be honest about how you feel. Don't lie,pretend ,or sleep with them. Because in the end you only destroy them completely. And that is cruel. It's confusing and it's honestly f**king evil.

First Lesson of Getting Educated

Don't get scammed by extremely high tuition prices. Learn something that has value and can used as a trade to make an income. Understand that in the working world, people will use you. In the academia world, university employees will use you as well-- for an income.

Not what I expected

The weird thing is that even though they treated me like garbage for a long time, I don’t hate them or wish them harm. I thought that I would enjoy treating them the same way they treated me, but I don’t. What I feel now is pity. I have no desire to hurt them, and it pains me to think that maybe I have. But after so many years of being treated like an option and not being valued, I made a choice in favour of myself, and I will continue to do that from now on.

I SAW YOU

Happy Day Cafe on Kingsway

You were sitting by yourself & you ordered a few Curry Fish Balls and a few deep-fried Spring...

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