Despite being known as a city full of flakes year-round due to chronic no-shows for tea parties, soirées, and assorted social shenanigans, Vancouverites have been contending with a sudden onslaught of snow.
Yet contrary to erroneous beliefs that citizens of this West Coast metropolis are unable to handle snow, the vast majority of unflappable Vancouver residents remained calm and carried on with everyday routines.
For instance, many resumed regular daily activities such as fracking, belly dancing, or hot yoga.
In fact, many demonstrated resourcefulness by adopting new forms of transportation in order to continue on with their regular commutes.
In a bid to inject some excitement—also known as “razzle dazzle”—local residents resorted to innovative but ill-advised methods to transport themselves across the bone-chilling frozen wasteland otherwise known as Metro Vancouver.
Yet it remains unknown why so many commuters adopted these methods when public transit continued on with service as usual.
In one case, a bunch of total lugers repurposed swimming kickboards by lying on top of them and hurtling down Canada Line tracks at high speed, often arriving at SkyTrain stations faster than regular TransLink trains.
(It remains unknown if these individuals are capable of bending at the waist.)
Meanwhile, other citizens who commute by ridesharing banded together and piled into kayaks, canoes, and raincatching barrels and rode them down SkyTrain tracks.
Even an unknown Canadian reporter joined in on the act.
Some individuals decided to employ their household pets for uses other than defecating on neighbour's lawns (which residents soon realized they could do themselves).
Unfortunately, these attempts often had to be abandoned due to strike action from animal unions.
In addition, to the chagrin of many, freeloaders were often seen trying to steal a ride through the trying conditions.
As Vancouver has developed a world-renowned reputation for being a cycling-friendly city, dedicated cyclists insisted on riding their bikes for their commute through the icy conditions, as the video below illustrates.
The reduction in vehicle traffic on roads opened up new parking spaces for drivers who did brave the elements.
Some drivers opted to take some minor precautions.
Still other Vancouverites helped to counteract erroneous stereotypical perceptions by Americans of Canada as being a barren country of only ice and snow.
Meanwhile, others attempted to swim to their destinations. They didn’t get very far.
Other swimming attempts were even less successful and deemed really unvernünftig, such as this example by an arschloch.
Nonetheless, many Vancouverites found new uses for puddles.
Speaking of hypothermia, numerous climate deniers and leg-exhibitionists (also known as “men”) were out in full force.
Meanwhile in the Davie Village, gay bears even emerged from hibernation in nightclubs to witness the unexpected weather conditions.
Contrary to popular belief, news reporters were harmed in the making of reports on innertubing.
When citizens were asked by international media, such as the New York Times, as to why they remain living in such an unforgiving and desolate location, they cited the oft-repeated phrase “Vancouver—just being here is a celebration”.