The mayor of Hogtown deserves a special section of his own this year, if only for putting Toronto on the map in the most outlandish way possible.
I did not have sexual relations with that woman
"I do not use crack cocaine, nor am I an addict of crack cocaine. I cannot comment on a video that I have never seen or does not exist."—Rob Ford in a May 24 press conference on allegations that there is a video of him smoking crack
Proof? What proof?
“The digital video file what we have recovered depicts images which are consistent with those that have previously been reported in the press.”—Toronto Police Chief Bill Blair announces his department is in possession of the alleged crack smoking video in a press conference on October 31
The crack pipe, er, plot thickens…
“Yes I have smoked crack cocaine. But, no—do I? Am I an addict? No. Have I tried it? Um, probably in one of my drunken stupors, probably approximately about a year ago.”—Ford admits his drug use to reporters on November 5
“Yes, one day I do want to run for prime minister."—Ford to Fox News Channel’s John Roberts on November 17
Puff, puff, pass
"I won't deny that. I smoked a lot of it."—Ford on marijuana
It's murder, I tells ya!
“I’m gonna kill that fucking guy. I’m telling you, it’s first-degree murder."—While intoxicated, Ford rants about an unknown person on a video recording. He also states in the video that he will “rip his fucking throat out" and "I’ll make sure that motherfucker’s dead"
Regrets, he's had a few
“The Toronto Star just released a video that I was very, very inebriated. All I can say is, again, I’ve made mistakes. I just wanted to come out and tell you I saw a video. It’s extremely embarrassing. The whole world’s going to see it. You know what? I don’t have a problem with that.”—Ford on the video tirade referenced above
“It says I wanted to eat her pussy and I have never said that in my life to her. I would never do that. I’m happily married and I’ve got more than enough to eat at home."—Ford on alleged comments to former policy adviser Olivia Gondek
Fording the nation
On it was announced the Ford Brothers would be starring in a new Sun News Network show, Ford Nation. The show lasted all of one episode before its cancellation, reportedly due to high production costs and editing times.
Tell us how you really feel
“Bunch of maggots. [Pause.] Sorry, maybe I shouldn’t have said that.”—Ford on the media
What he said
“I guess the worst one was Daniel Dale in my backyard taking pictures. I have little kids. When a guy’s taking pictures of little kids, I don’t want to say that word but you start thinking, ‘What’s this guy all about?’”—Ford to convicted felon Conrad Black during a December 9 televised chat
What he meant
"I stand by every word I said with Mr. Black in my interview."—Ford in a press conference clarifying his remarks from the evening before
But what he really said and meant
“I never called Mr. Dale a pedophile, I have never used that word to describe Mr. Dale, I do not believe Mr. Dale is a pedophile nor did I intend to suggest that in my comments. My comments to Conrad Black were in context of my worst experiences with the incredible assault by media and particularly the Toronto Star on me and my family. My comments related to the fear I had for my family when my long-time neighbour told me that someone was lurking at my fence and appeared to be taking pictures of my family home over the fence."—Ford in a sort-of-but-not-really apology to Toronto Star reporter Daniel Dale
"I want to take this opportunity to clarify my comments made in an interview with Conrad Black and to apologize to Daniel Dale for the way in which the media has interpreted my statements."—Ford's not-really apology to Dale, putting the pedophile insinuation squarely at the feet of the media
And a bonus one from that other Ford: Doug Ford came under fire in December for handing out $20 bills to some of his constituents while he was giving out toys at a Toronto Community Housing building. Ford justified the action, saying he hadn't had time to stop at Tim Horton's to pick up gift certificates.