Best of bands 2016: The Jolts

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      Shit, fuck, and damn. After surviving some 11 years of Cobalt implosions, gentrification, and the almost total marginalization of classic Converse-to-the-nuts rock music, vocalist Joey Blitzkrieg and his buddies in the Jolts—Joshy Atomic (guitar), Evan Dabbler (bass), and Dusty Duderino (drums)—went and put out a record that sounds like the resurrection of Sonic’s Rendezvous Band (a very good thing, if you wouldn’t mind looking up from your laptop for a second). The ferocious No Paradoxes is a decisive win for an outfit that should have made our Best of Bands a decade ago.

      Best local release other than yours: Hands down it’s gotta be the Sore Points tape. Not that I have any way of listening to the thing, but I bet it would sound like sunglasses-at-night-wearing miscreants playing two-minute-or-less amped-up jean-jacket punk through blown-out speakers. But I hear it’s real limited, so good luck finding one.

      The year’s best gig: Laurice in the back room at the Emerald (August 5) was such a weird and awesome night. Even though he performed solo overtop backing tracks and the PA sound was a bit iffy, the songs were so fucking good and the energy in the room just buzzed. In between he told stories of his life and the set spanned a four-decade-long career of glam, soul, and disco hits, as well as tracks from his 2016 album G.A.Y.D.A.R. It was definitely not to be missed.

      Hootsuite’s Ryan Holmes is paying. Where’s dinner? I’m thinking Osteria Savio Volpe [615 Kingsway]. No idea what they serve there, I’m just assuming it’s good based on all the nice cars parked around Robson Park these days. Also the fox on the window looks great and I’m pretty intrigued by the super-tall door.

      We’re road-tripping. Who’s on the stereo? If you’re road-tripping with the Jolts probably Joshy is hogging the aux and playing some crazy mix of super obscure gems and unlistenable outsider trash, but my personal go-to road album would be High Visibility by the Hellacopters. It’s one of the records that influenced me to form the Jolts and every piece of it still sounds exciting.

      Like that Weeknd song, who makes you feel like you can’t feel your face? Probably our former manager–synth player Dwight Lightning. Something about that lipstick tattoo… If you’re reading this, we miss you, Dwight! Come back!

      You’re a creative type. Where are we opening a venue? That round park [Piazza Italia] on Clark Drive at the end of North Grandview. Seems like a perfect place to set up and play since it’s between the Skytrain and a mechanic shop and there’s no one nearby to complain about noise. I heard it used to have a statue of a teenage Columbus.