There's no joy in Sex Tape

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      Starring Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel. Rated 18A. Now playing.

      You’d think a movie called Sex Tape starring two of the more game comic actors around would have belly laughs and at least a little titillation. But it’s actually weirdly neutered and inert. For all its talk of erections and fucking, it’s got the vibe of preschoolers trying out language they heard from their older cousins. Is there such a thing as a family-friendly gross-out comedy? ’Cause that’s what Sex Tape seems to be going for.

      Cameron Diaz is miscast as a stay-at-home mommy blogger (what part of Diaz’s psychotically toned bod says “mommy”?) who misses all the sex she and her husband (Jason Segel) used to have. We see their college sex life at the beginning of the film, and it’s as hot as watching cockroaches crawl over each other. Then she decides to spice things up by suggesting they film themselves doing every position in The Joy of Sex. (Yay, science-project sex!)

      In a setup so laboured it feels like it takes nine months to deliver, their video ends up on all the iPads they’ve given away as gifts. So they spend one wild night trying to retrieve them. For no good reason, their friends (Rob Corddry and The Office’s Ellie Kemper) tag along, watch the video, and have sex in their car. Again, it’s less hot than it sounds.

      For every decent Siri joke and extended Rob Lowe cameo, there’s a sequence of animal abuse and appalling decision-making that should result in their kids getting apprehended. Segel brings some funny shtick here and there (he polished the script with frequent collaborator Nicholas Stoller), but Diaz seems content to play an actress playing a hot wifey. Both show their naked backsides a lot. The iPad still comes across as sexier.


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