Wanna find out who’s who on your Twitter feed, Facebook page, or Pinterest account? Write something, anything, and then hashtag it with the pretty clever #FluTruxKlan. Before you can say “Karen Konvoy”, you’ll find yourself unfollowed, sometimes by those you could have sworn you were a little, um, less batshit-crazy than the average anti-vaxxer.

Before we go any further, including delving into last night's The Late Show With Stephen Colbert, a couple of minor things. The first is, if you support everything from the right to abortion to the right to go to school naked, say "fuck" in front of your mom, or walk into a deli and urinate on the cheese, then you’ve got to respect the rights of your fellow Canadians to reject the jab. (Also, a gold star if you got the reference there.)

No one wants someone telling them what to do, including you. It doesn’t matter if you’ve got a good reason for pushing shots one, two, and three on your fellow Canadians. Like, for example, making sure there’s a bed in the hospital that isn’t taken up by a comatose unvaxxed COVID-19 clown when your anger at the #FluTruxKlan leads to you having an aneurysm while watching the news.

The rules here are simple. Your body, your rules. Their bodies, their rules. You can shake your head and wonder what that anti-vax idjit would have done during the polio epidemic, but you can’t have it both ways.

As for those who are convinced that vaccines are part of a corporate conspiracy by big pharma to do Christ Jesus knows what, some rules also apply. Stop pissing on the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, defiling Terry Fox’s statue, and abusing the staff at Ottawa homeless shelters because you’re hungry and forgot to pack a lunch when you left Fuckwitville, Alberta for Ottawa in your mudsplattered pickup truck.

And, while you’re at it, ask yourself what exactly you’re hoping to achieve by squatting on the streets in what’s become a tent city on wheels. Because the last time anyone checked, the vaccination rules for truckers (90 percent of whom are vaxxed, and actually drive trucks) are the same on both sides of the border. Try pulling this shit in front of the White House, and see how long your road-hockey game lasts.

What’s that? You can’t get across the border, not to mention service at the local Ottawa Tim Horton’s, or into the gas station to take a dump because you’re unvaxxed? Well, that’s your choice. Your body, your rules, your choice. Live with it.

Rewinding to the top of this page for a second, what the fuck even is Pinterest, and why is it completely useless? Hands up if you’ve lost count of the times you’ve gone looking for a recipe for sumac-pomegranate lima beans, clicked on a link, and found yourself looking at a Pinterest page that lists no ingredients or instructions, but instead offers a photo with the word “Yummy” underneath it.

Anyway, back to the folks currently turning the streets of Ottawa into an Eastern Canadian version of Strathcona Park circa 2020.

In one corner, you’ve had Donald Trump declaring Canada's Karen Konvoy cretins the greatest thing since the freedom fighters of January 6. Famed humanitarian Donald Trump Jr. meanwhile posted glowing endorsements on Facebook.

The #FluTruxKlan cabal hasn’t, meanwhile, gone unnoticed on the left. Last night, The Late Show With Stephen Colbert took aim at Canada’s tireless freedom fighters.

Host Stephen Colbert wondered why Canadians have been waving Confederate flags in a country that can’t secede from a nation that it doesn’t belong to. He also applauded truckers for turning their backs on Spotify to spread COVID misinformation on CB radio. And, Colbert then observed.....well, let’s not spoil things. Watch below, starting at 7 minutes for the full clip.

And then remember that you have no right to insist that your fellow Canadians get vaxxed. But you have every right to insist they keep out of your coffee shop, stay away from your book club meetings, and go play road hockey somewhere they’ll be more welcome. Like Anusville, Alberta.

Ps. love you all, no matter what your status.

Pps. #unfollowed. There. Did it for you.