Jack White announcement shows once again he has little time for the world's concert cretins

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      Over the course of his storied career, Jack White has never had a lot of time for the kind of cretins who turn up at a show and then ruin it for everyone else.

      These people include, in no particular order:

      • Chatty Cathys who use concerts as the perfect place to catch up with old friends and make new ones while reminscing about that time they got a red Radio Flyer wagon for Christmas at age 7.
      • Urban survivalists who—for reasons entirely unfathomable to everyone they bang into—see nothing wrong with hitting a gig wearing the kind of giant backpack that says "next stop, West Coast Trail."
      • Space invaders who don't give a shit when you got to the venue to carefully stake out your spot at the front of the stage.
      • Crop dusters—the unrepentent farters who've been eating nothing but lentils and brussel sprouts for two weeks and no longer have the energy or inclination to squeeze their ass cheeks together.
      • Amateur video directors who insist on filming the entire show, even though they've never once bothered watching any of the other 200 or so they've shot in the past.

      As noted, White has never been shy about letting fans know when folks are ruining it for everyone else. Those with African elephant-like memories might remember the White Stripes playing the Old Plaza of Nations in the '00s. In the middle of the night White finally stopped the show to tell the crowd—which was 17 percent crowdsurfers—that if there's on thing that he hates, it's crowd-surfing. 

      White also evidently hates amateur video directors. As he gets set to hit the road for his new album, Boarding House Reach, he's announced that cellphones will be banned from all shows. In statement printed by NME, White said that, in the interest of creating a 100 percent human experience, no photo, video, or audio recording devices will be allowed at shows. 

      The statement continues with: 

      We think you’ll enjoy looking up from your gadgets for a little while and experience music and our shared love of it IN PERSON.

      Upon arrival at the venue, all phones and other photo or video-capturing gizmos will be secured in a Yondr pouch that will be unlocked at the end of the show. You keep your pouch-secured phone on you during the show and, if needed, can unlock your phone at any time in a designated Yondr Phone Zone located in the lobby or concourse.

      For those looking to do some social media postings, let us help you with that. Our official tour photographer will be posting photos and videos after the show at jackwhiteiii.com and the new Jack White Live Instagram account @officialjackwhitelive. Repost our photos & videos as much as you want

      Other artists who've banned amateur video directors from their shows include Guns N' Roses, and Alicia Keys. On recent tour dates Tool had security remove anyone who was caught with their phones out.

      White has been on record in the past expressing his hate for smartphones. “People can’t clap any more, because they’ve got a fucking texting thing in their fucking hand, and probably a drink, too!” White told Rolling Stone. “Some musicians don’t care about this stuff, but I let the crowd tell me what to do. There’s no setlist. I’m not just saying the same things I said in Cleveland last night. If they can’t give me that energy back? Maybe I’m wasting my time.”

      This news is more than welcome around the Georgia Straight office.

      We all still have collective PTSD every time we think about the fucking asswipe who showed up at the Vogue for Nick Cave four years ago, positioned himself in the middle of the dancefloor, and then proceeded to annoy the fuck out of everyone by filming the show start to finish, including breaking out a fresh battery pack just as everyone started cheering at his camera finally dying. (Read all about it here, and don't forget to check out the comments).