Calvin Harris and the Chainsmokers will make more money this year than you'll pull down in your entire sad life

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      There's an old saying that goes "Only an idiot attempts to carve out a career in music with a guitar".

      Actually, there isn't, but there should be, especially in 2018. That's because the real money in modern pop music is found in the world of EDM.

      Forbes today released a list of the highest paid DJs of 2018. The days of spinning records for a pile of blow, a bottle of Jägermeister, and a discount on the three-star Ibiza hotel of your choice are well in the past. 

      Heading the list is former Taylor Swift boy-toy Calvin Harris. The 34-year-old Scotsman parlayed a European hit (the Dua Lipa collabo "One Kiss"), festival sets, and a residency at Las Vegas' high-rolling Omnia Nightclub into a whopping $48 million in earnings. One day you're toiling in a fish factory and saving for DJ gear, the next you're making enough quid to buy the entire fishing fleets of Fraserburgh, Kinlochbervie, and Lerwick.

      Suggesting that Sin City is the ticket to making sure you never have to work another day in your life, the Chainsmokers came in at number two thanks in part to a standing gig at Wynn Nightlife. The American duo of Alex Pall and Andrew Taggart split $45.5 million between them thanks largely to their three-year deal with the Vegas super-club. 

      Still six years short of freedom-55, Dutch veteran Tiësto pulled in $33 million, keeping himself current with collaborations like "Jackie Chan" with Dzeko, Post Malone and Preme. More lucratively, the 49-year old also realized that all the best-paying gigs these days are in Vegas, cashing in with sets at Hakkasan.

      The top five was rounded out by Steve Aoki ($28 million) and Marshmello ($23 million). 

      For the full list of DJs who will make more in one year than you and your extended family will take home over the course of your life, go here.  Or read below. 

      And after you've managed to stuff the green-eyed cat back into the bag, might we suggest you put down that Gibson Les Paul and start doing your best to wrap your head around Native Instruments Traktor Pro 2, Ableton Live, and Pioneer Rekordbox (the best things about the latter being that, unlike a Marshall stack, it's free). 


      15. Afrojack ($10 million)
      14. Dimitri Vegas & Like Mike ($10.5 million)
      13. DJ Snake ($11 million)
      12. Kygo ($11.5 million)
      11. Axwell & Ingrosso ($12 million)
      10. Martin Garrix ($13 million)
      9. Kaskade ($13.5 million)
      8. David Guetta ($15 million)
      7. Diplo ($20 million)
      6. Zedd ($22 million)
      5. Marshmello ($23 million)
      4. Steve Aoki ($28 million)
      3. Tiesto ($33 million)
      2. The Chainsmokers ($45.5 million)
      1. Calvin Harris ($48 million)