Fuck Neil Young, Rihanna, and Katy Perry—to the MAGA crowd, Donald Trump is the only rock star that matters

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      One of the most horrifying things about the atrocity that is Donald J. Trump’s presidency is the way the man seems made of Teflon.

      It’s not like the upstanding musicians of America haven’t taken repeated shots designed to inflict maximum political damage. And by “musicians”, we don’t mean crust-punk skids in three-chord hardcore bands with names like the Knifestabbers, Red Vomit, or Vicious Shart, but rather legitimate legends.

      What do unlikely bedfellows like Axl Rose, Adele, Neil Young, Rihanna, R.E.M., Cher, Miley Cyrus, and Meek Mill all have in common? (Besides having more money than you and your extended family ever will, making their opinions more valid than anything you’ll ever have to offer.) The answer is that they’ve all come out swinging against the guy most likely to play Mr. Orange in a Reservoir Dogs reboot.

      Each of them has taken to Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Vine, Wattpad, and the pop-culture juggernaut MySpace to call out the leader of the free world as a racist, sexist shithead, motherfornicator, climate-change-denying clown, and follicly freakish fuckwit.

      Because tweets and Instagram posts are immediately lost in the endless white noise that is the Internet, some artists have gone so far as to take direct aim at Trump while standing in front of the mike.

      Remember, if you will, Eminem delivering a vitriolic freestyle against the 72-year-old shitstain who’s currently stinking up the Oval Office, taking shots at everything from Mr. Mango’s immigration policies to his golf vacations to his man-crush on disturbingly coiffed Korean sexpot Kim Jong-un. Marshall Mathers finished his rap by spitting a venomous “Fuck you” at Trump, calling on millions of Eminem fans to take action against the president, and adding the final salvo “The rest of America stand up/We love our military and we love our country/But we fucking hate Trump!!!”

      Don’t remember that? That’s all right—no one else does either. Just like 17 minutes from now, no one will remember Rihanna this past week taking legal action to stop Trump (who wouldn’t know Rihanna from a rump roast) from playing her music at his disturbingly Third Reich–like rallies across America.

      In scenarios that the Barbados-born megastar called “tragic”, aides cranked Rihanna’s “Don’t Stop the Music” while firing Trump T-shirts into the crowd in such culturally enlightened locales as Chattanooga, Tennessee. That none of the idiots in the audience knew Rihanna from an authentic Barbados rum punch (recipe as follows: one of sour, two of sweet, three of strong, four of weak) was entirely beside the point. It was the free shit that counted.

      Don’t remember RiRi taking a stand either? That’s all right—neither does anyone else by this point. Just like, by this time tomorrow, everyone will have forgotten that Neil Young—who’s previously banned Trump from playing “Rockin’ in the Free World” at his rallies—took to the web to call him out this weekend.

      Trump had suggested that the wildfires that just decimated California (including one of Young’s homes) were caused by the mismanagement of forests by those he hadn’t got around to draining from the swamp yet.

      Young took to his own website to respond with “Imagine a leader who defies science, saying these solutions shouldn’t be part of his decision-making on our behalf. Imagine a leader who cares more for his own, convenient option than he does for the people he leads. Imagine an unfit leader. Now imagine a fit one.”

      He could have written “Imagine an America where the opinions of Neil Young, Eminem, Cher, Prince, and assorted members of Cleveland punk agitators Cum Fart actually have some weight.” Except they don’t with Teflon Don, whose endless spinning of every criticism into another example of “fake news” has proven fascinatingly effective.

      What’s horrifying—not to mention horrifyingly unbelievable—is the way the Make America Great Again morons you see at his rallies have made a choice.

      At another period in time, they might have lined up behind Neil Young. Or Rihanna. Or even Katy Perry, who countered Trump’s wildfire comments with “This is an absolutely heartless response.” Or Rod Stewart, who chimed in with “California needs words of support & encouragement, not threats or finger pointing & accusations.”

      Instead, to those who never leave home without their red MAGA trucker caps, Donald Trump is now the world’s only rock star that matters. Well, maybe Trump, Ted Nugent, and Kid Rock.

      Teflon is evidently one hell of a drug.