This is possibly the most ’80s thing ever: Bryan Adams and Pee-wee Herman celebrating the holidays with a fake reggae song.

I have so many questions.

Who convinced Adams, quite possibly the whitest man alive, that reggae was a good genre for him?

Who is the dude with the mullet? I’m guessing he’s an MTV personality forgotten in the mists of time.

Pee-wee is sporting fake dreadlocks at one point. Do Rastafarians even celebrate Christmas?

What’s with the Mr. T doll? Is it because the real Mr. T refused to take part in this hot mess? (If so, he made the wrong choice, because this hot mess is amazing.)

I could probably find all the answers somewhere in the murky deoths of the Internet, but I really don’t care enough to look. As Adam Driver’s character in While We’re Young says, “Let’s just not know.”