On Our Radar: Vancouver's Tanglers spin a "Tallboy" story for your long-suffering, inner economy class frequent flyer

    1 of 2 2 of 2

      We're going out on a limb here and suggesting that Vancouver's Tanglers are mildly guilty of cultural appropriation in the video for their deliciously languid "Tallboy".

      You are either a member of Tall Clubs International, Inc or you aren't. 

      If you are, you know what it's like to stand on the dancefloor at the Commodore acutely aware that your very existence on planet Earth is pissing off everyone in a 30-foot radius behind you. 

      As a teenager you were asked "Do you play basketball?" at least six times a day. And at various points in your life you've probably been called, in no particular order: Too Tall Jones, Daddy Long Leg, Jolly Green Giant, Lankenstein, Chewy, Swizzle Stick, Big Bird, Gigantor, and/or Stretch. 

      Most of all, if you are a legitimately tall person you start dreading international flights the moment you cheap out by booking your seat in economy. And you spent most of your time in the air shaking your first at the sky asking what kind of flaming asshole reclines their seat 2.1 seconds after the fasten-seatbelts light goes off, especially since said subhumans are often the size of Billy Barty. 

      The telltale sign that the star of "Tallboy" has never darkened the doorway of a Mr. Big & Tall comes around the 1:50 mark. That's when the video's main character struts up the street in Chinatown, his billowing flares revealing glimpses of what are clearly a pair of stilts. 

      That's right stilts, which weren't visible earlier when he was playing pickup basketball, shoehorning himself into a beatermobile, and lounging on a regular-size crapper. A couple of seconds after what seems to be the biggest gaffe since the Starbucks cup popped up in Game of Thrones, our long, tall drink of whatever is back wearing shoes, splayed across a train track presumbably determined to end it all: the back pain, the search for size 19 shoes, the endless shouts of "sit down" when he's already sitting--on the floor--at the local movie theatre. 

      But fear not--he's not the only person playing at being a human being cursed with longer-than-average legs in "Tallboy", which is to say that sometimes you aren't alone, even when you're taller than the lovechild of Yao Ming and Ekaterina Lisina.