Ever wake up in the morning thinking that there’s no way that life in Donald Trump’s America could get any more surreal?
Well, today is not that day. This afternoon, the orange-hued Commander in Chief has decided that he's just the man to do something about the plight of mega-platinum rapper A$AP Rocky.
You might recall A$AP Rocky getting into a little legal trouble in Sweden. The rapper born Rakim Mayers was involved in a fight in downtown Stockholm on June 30. And no, that fight was not sparked by an enraging afternoon spent attempting to build a home-entertainment cabinet from IKEA.
Detailing the incident on his Instagram account, Rocky posted videos in which he and an associate tell two men to stop following them. Despite repeated warnings, the two men continue to trail A$AP Rocky and his entourage. At one point, one of the the man appears to whip headphones at the head of a member of the rapper's entourage.
At one point in a second video A$AP addresses the camera with "Look, just for the cameras, we don't want no problems with these boys". A person on the street later approaches the rapper and, pointing to the two men, says "This other guy—he slapped my ass and my girlfriend's ass".
“So a few drug addicts are not my fans,” he said on his Instagram account. “We don’t know these guys and we didn’t want trouble, they followed us for 4 blocks, and they were slapping girls butts who passed, give me a break.”
Those fans have been charged with assault and molestation.
In the wake of the fight, Rocky and two of his associates have been in pretrial detention in Sweden since July 2. Prosecutors and a judge in the case have argued that the New York-born musician is a flight risk.
And here’s where things get crazy. According to Variety, Kanye West and Kim Kardashian recently made contact with President Donald Trump’s son-in-law, Jared Kushner, asking that the American government help push for A$AP Rocky’s release.
Why West didn’t just pick up the Day-Glo orange Batphone and call his friend Trump himself remains a mystery.
In any event, America’s Mango Mussolini has now entered the fray. In the video above he credited his long-suffering wife Melania—who likely wouldn't know A$AP Rock from Rocky and Bullwinkle—with putting the case on his radar. Even though he probably wouldn’t know A$AP Rocky from Rocky Balboa, Trump has also taken Twitter to suggest that the good country of Sweden release the rapper right fucking now.
Predictably, almost no one is praising Trump for coming to the rescue of A$AP Rocky. Instead, Twitter users have used the tweet as a golden opportunity to get their licks in. And that's the only thing that's not surreal about today.;