Scandinavian jailbird A$AP Rocky has, after a month of being dressed in the Nordic equivalent of the county blues, been released from prison in Sweden.
As everyone who follows Donald Trump on Twitter knows, the rapper born Rakim Mayers was thrown in Swedish prison after a street fight in Stockholm at the end of June. You can read all about that here.
Worried that he was a flight risk, Swedish authorities kept A$AP Rocky in prison to make sure he would actually be in court for his trial. With court proceedings over, and a verdict not expected until the middle of the month, he's now been released and is free to leave the county.
The best thing about that is that he no longer has to decide whether he'd rather spend his days either making Swedish license plates or, more inhumanely, test-assembling IKEA furniture prototypes.
Over the past month, Trump repeatedly told his fellow Americans that he was diligently working on getting the Swedish government to release the rapper from jail. Unfortunately he couldn't seem to get it through his thick fucking Day-Glo orange skull that the chances of that were less than zero.
Swedish prime minister Stefan Löfven learned that while you call tell someone “the government cannot and will not attempt to influence the legal proceedings”, that doesn't mean they'll be able to process such seemingly simple information.
Predictably, Donald Trump quickly took to Twitter to celebrate the rapper's release with “It was a Rocky Week, get home ASAP A$AP”. He then declared that his favourite Rocky moment is the one where he beats the living shit out of that Russian guy.