A million or so years ago, at a venue that's been gone so long only Aaron Chapman remembers it, the Straight was lucky enough to be in the front row for Mojo Nixon and Skid Roper at the height of their trailer-trash powers.
The duo was headlining an insanely sold-out Town Pump in Gastown, and the mass sing-a-long for "Elvis is Everywhere" was every bit as loud as it was for a left-field cover of Del Shannon's "Runaway'.
As great as those highlights were, they were overshadowed by the between-songs banter, including an extended tangent on the magical allure of Oprah Winfrey.
It started out with Nixon confessing that Winfrey made his joy prong "harder than Chinese arithmetic", and went into a celebration of the talk show host's "round, brown pleasure pounds."
The response to said banter was so loud, you would have thought Jesus H. Christ had just shown up to do a tap dance on the Town Pump bar while Moses did Slippery Nipple shooters with Mother Mary.
Fast forward a million years or so, and Kid Rock is making headlines for being dragged offstage in Nashville. And, to add insult to injury, at his own bar.
His crime? Ranting about Oprah Winfrey, said booze-bombed observations including that she is more than welcome to suck his dick sideways.
And that was just the tip of a blue-streak iceberg.
Perhaps anticipating the Twitter backlash before it started, he then added, among other diversions:
"And if you say that people say, 'Hey, I'm pretty sure Kid Rock's a racist.' I'm like, 'OK fine. Fuck off'.'"
Proving, one might argue, that social media ruins everything, that the world is "woke" everywhere (including in the back row of a Kid Rock concert), and that it's better—despite evidence to the contrary—to be Neill Kirby McMillan Jr. than Robbie James Ritchie.
Based on "Elvis is Everywhere", it's hard to disagree.