Strange days ahead

Jack White has told Billboard he’s putting the finishing touches on a third solo album, which he cryptically describes as “bizarre” and great for “reroofing the garage”. Yes, folks, even the man who saved rock with the White Stripes has given up on saving rock.

Back at ’er

Eleven years after her debut, Paris, Paris Hilton is hard at work on a follow-up that she promises will deliver a whole new sound. Unfortunately, she’s promising a mix of deep house and electro- and techno-pop, instead of what we were all hoping for: the sound of silence.

Butt out

In an attempt to curb lowlifes hawking nude pics of her, Sia released one of them herself, tweeting a blurry shot of her butt—which is just as well, since no one knows what her face looks like anyway.

Trouble in paradise

Famous philanthropist Bono has been named in the Paradise Papers leak for evading tax on his investment in a Lithuanian shopping centre. We expected it of Trump’s cabinet members—but really, Bono? You too?