Damon Albarn messes with the wrong person by suggesting Taylor Swift doesn't write her own songs

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      As much as she’s not afraid to take dead aim in the recording studio at those who’ve screwed her over (looking at you Jake Gyllenhaal), Taylor Swift generally keeps things squeaky clean in her public life. That’s how you know Damon Albarn has really fucking pissed her off.

      First the backstory.

      In a statement that makes you realize that, no matter how far we’ve come in the world, there are still countless miles to go, the Blur frontman and occasional Gorillaz singer for some reason saw fit to weigh in on Swift’s career in a recent interview with the Los Angeles Times.

      Evidently privvy to information the rest of the world has yet to have stumbled upon, Albarn suggested that, despite Swift being famous for writing deeply personal songs about those who’ve fucked her over (good afternoon Harry Styles, Joe Jonas, and Scooter Braun), she doesn’t actually write her own songs.

      With his main bone of contention being that cowriters tend to be listed in her song credits, Albarn’s direct quote is this: “I know what co-writing is. Co-writing is very different to writing. I’m not hating on anybody, I’m just saying there’s a big difference between a songwriter and a songwriter who co-writes. Doesn’t mean that the outcome can’t be really great.”

      Presumably, that logic means that Albarn isn’t really a songwriter because he wrote Gorillaz’ “Dirty Harry” with three other dudes. The same goes for Blur’s ubiquitous hockey-arena amthem “Song 2”.

      To her credit and quite understandably, Swift was having absolutely fucking none of this.

      Taking to Twitter, she fired off: “I was such a big fan of yours until I saw this. I write all of my own songs. Your hot take is completely false and so damaging. You don’t have to like my songs but it’s really fucked up to try and discredit my writing. Wow.”

      Then, as a deserved and well-placed followup kick in the cojones, she added: “PS I wrote this tweet all by myself in case you were wondering.”

      It probably didn’t help that Albarn also suggested that Billie Eilish (who, um, tends to cowrite her songs) is more interesting than Tay-Tay will ever be because she’s made a career out of frying her mopey freak flag.

      Everyone who’s ever been in the same state as Swift promptly joined America’s Riotously Pissed Off Sweetheart in the piling on.

      High-powered producer Jack Antanoff, for example, weighed in with “I’ve never met Damon Albarn and he’s never been to my studio but apparently he knows more than the rest of us about all those songs Taylor writes and brings in…if you were there, cool go off. If not, maybe shut the fuck up?”

      The National's Aaron Dessner Tweeted: "Not sure why you would try to discredit Taylor's brilliant songwriting but as someone who has gotten to press record around her ...your statements couldn't be further from the truth...you're obviously completely clueless as to her actual writing and work process."

      And the Civil Wars' John Paul White added: "I can personally guarantee that she was a major part of the songwriting on Safe and Sound. She proved to be one of the best I’ve ever worked with. Selfless, generous, insightful, nuanced - with a CLEAR understanding of the assignment."

      To his credit, Albarn not only shut the fuck up, he apologized—sort of—with a Tweet of his own: “I totally agree with you. i had a conversation about songwriting and sadly it was reduced to clickbait. I apologise unreservedly and unconditionally. The last thing I would want to do is discredit your songwriting. I hope you understand. - Damon”.

      Swift meanwhile is busy in the studio, furiously writing a song. Probably titled “Clickbait Coont”. And, just to prove a point, going it alone. 

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