Even if Coachella's not going to happen, organizers have given us a reason to live with Kanye and Billie Eilish

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      If nothing else, Coachella has started off 2022 by sending the world a message that there’s nothing wrong with dreaming. Word is circulating that Kanye West is currently in deep negotiations to headline this year’s edition of the world’s biggest music festival. And that, more importantly, he’s promised that he won’t be playing anything from Donda.

      According to the Hollywood Reporter—via TMZ and Variety—doom-pop queen and all-round renaissance woman Billie Eilish has also been approached to headline Friday’s Coachella lineups. At the moment, Coachella is scheduled for two weekend, April 15-17 and April 22-24, at the Empire Polo Grounds in Indio, California.

      The key words there are “At the moment”, because thanks to the spreading-like-wildfire Omnicron COVID-19 variant, the likelihood of anyone gathering en masse in the coming months seems increasingly unlikely. As in a full-blown fucking pipe dream.

      Then again, we are talking about America, where wearing a mask isn’t a public health issue, but instead a complete and egregious infringement on one’s rights under the first, second, and third amendments. Given that, anything is possible.

      Still, it’s not like we haven’t heard this one before. Remember how the 2020 edition of Coachella was scheduled to take place right as COVID-19 was first ripping its way across the planet. And how the April dates—featuring Rage Against the Machine as a headliner—were moved to October of 2020. And then to April 2021. And then to October 2021. And then to April 2022, the big problem being that Omnicron has once again changed the game, especially in America which is averaging a half-million new COVID infections per day.

      Given those numbers, one has to legitimately wonder why Coachella doesn’t jumpstart ticket sales by promising miracles for 2022. Given the festival isn’t going to happen, why not get truly crazy on the ambitiousness front?

      Shoot for the Rolling Stones with Ringo Starr on drums. Float the idea that you’re getting Pink Floyd with Roger Waters, David Gilmour, and Nick Mason back together with no lawyers allowed onstage. That Jack and Meg White will be reuniting the White Stripes. Kickstart the return of ABBA, R.E.M. and OutKast. And get cavemen Liam and Noel Gallagher to patch things up with Paul “Bonehead” Arthurs and reform Oasis. Christ, promise us the Smiths, the Talking Heads, Sonic Youth, Led Zeppelin with Jason Bonham, and the Clash fronted by a hologram of Joe Strummer.

      It doesn’t matter than none of those things are likely to happen, because neither is Coachella. So there’s no downside to giving music fans something to live for in what’s shaping up to be another miserable year of lockdowns, infections, and the continued existence of Ted Nugent, Hank Williams Jr., and Beach Boy Mike Love.

      Back to Coachella, West is being tapped as the replacement for originally announced Travis Scott, who stopped seeming like a good idea after multiple deaths at his Astroworld show in December. As for Eilish, she headlined the last Coachella that actually took place back in 2019.

      Eilish was last seen pulling double duty on Saturday Night Live in December. If you saw that show, you were left feeling that the 19-year-old can pretty much do anything she puts her mind to, her appearance a triumph on both the musical guest and the hosting front.

      Given that, who better to convince the world that, yes, Coachella 2022 will indeed be happening in April. Or, you know, October. Or possibly, in April 2023, or for sure later that year in October. With the way things are these days, there’s no harm in dreaming.