At the Queen Elizabeth Theatre
 on Friday, August 26

Janet Jackson’s current Number Ones: Up Close and Personal tour could be more appropriately named Janet Jackson’s Loving Homage to Her Own Career tour.

Friday night’s show at the Queen Elizabeth Theatre didn’t quite prove to be the intimate affair that its name suggests, but was rather a celebration of raging narcissism. Musically, it was all things Janet, from the beginning of her career in ’73 up until now.

As far as the interactive side of things went, the queen of ‘80s dance-pop didn’t have much to say to the crowd that would indicate anything up close and personal, except a repeated “I love you, Vancity!” and a few giggles.

But the small, packed theatre ate it up from start to finish, the set kicking off with “The Pleasure Principle,” which ran straight into a mash-up of “Control”, “What Have You Done For Me Lately”, and then the more recent “Feedback”.

As Wacko Jacko’s younger sister danced nonstop through the medley, she got plenty of help from her backup singers. Given that there a noticeable lack of heavy breathing during her aerobicizing, that left us wondering if perhaps her mike had been turned down completely during songs.

Jackson’s crew of young dancers brought to mind West Side Story with their slick, gang-like moves, making the show something resembling a Broadway-meets-Vegas production. Judging by her Vancouver following—which included plenty of freedom-55 couples and those skipping their Friday-night book clubs—the singer’s next career stop will probably have her joining Céline Dion in Sin City.

But it’s not Jackson’s future that the evening focused on. Instead, this was about past achievements, a brief video montage of clips that rolled on the video backdrop chronicling her acting career, showing scenes from The Jeffersons, Poetic Justice, and Why Did I Get Married Too?. Okay, Janet, we get it. You were born to be.

The interlude would have allowed enough time for a costume change, but, instead, Jackson stayed in her understated jeans-and-tank ensemble for the sobering affair that came next. Without any words to the audience, MJ’s little sister returned from backstage to sing the slow, emotional ballad “Nothing”. Seemingly unable to execute a song in its entirety, she followed with a medley of “Come Back To Me”, “Let’s Wait Awhile” and “Again”. Let’s cut her some slack for the Girl Talk approach though; the singer-actress had 35 No. 1 hit songs to burn through.

During the down-tempo R&B tunes, Jackson’s mostly unimpressive vocals were accompanied by cheesy on-screen computer graphics reminiscent of the ‘90s, dating her by more than a few years. Audience members didn’t seem to mind though, no surprise considering most of them looked like they still own shoe-box size cellphones.

The ever-savvy icon kicked things back up with a slew of dance-jams, including “Doesn’t Really Matter” and “All For You”, the latter of which had the woman in front of me flirtatiously mouthing the lyrics “Got a nice package alright/Guess I’m gonna have to ride it tonight” to her husband. Lady, you’re going to have to do a lot more than that to make up for dragging him to a Janet Jackson concert.

The sensual number “That’s The Way Love Goes” didn’t stop the couple from making fuck-me eyes at each other, but for a lucky few, relief came when Jackson left the stage (presumably to take a cold shower) while the band jammed-out some heavy blues-rock.

“Scream” found Jackson duetting with a video-screen version of her late brother Michael, and her tribute to the king of pop didn’t end there. She encored with “Together Again” as a montage of photos from their childhood were shown on the video screen. This, of course, yanked a few heartstrings in the crowd, especially when Jackson momentarily looked as though she was going to cry and blew kisses to the sky.

Jackson and crew wrapped up just before 10:30 p.m., leaving just enough time for Mom and Pop to pop into a hotel room and get nasty before reporting back to the baby sitter.