Reasonable Doubt: Often overlooked details to remember after a relationship breakup

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      Breakups are not fun. They can be complicated and messy, and it’s even more stressful if you have to go to court or get involved in a drawn-out legal battle with your ex.

      Lawyers are available to assist you with the larger issues (such as property division and support), but there are also smaller details to consider.

      Here are a few things that are very easy to forget about after a breakup, but remembering them will probably save you a lot of headaches down the line (also note that if you are married, you don’t have to wait until you are actually divorced to do any of the below).

      Revoke authorizations for your ex to access information/documents about you

      What do your doctor’s office, vet’s clinic, and accountant all have in common? Chances are you previously authorized them to give information about you (or your pet) to your now ex-partner (especially if your ex also uses the same doctor or accountant), and chances are those offices have no idea that you are now no longer together. If you don’t want your ex to continue accessing personal information about you (and if you’re the one who will be keeping the pet), make sure to contact these offices to inform them that you and your ex are no longer together and that you no longer authorize them to provide your ex with your information.

      Remove your ex as an authorized user on your accounts

      Do you have a credit card for which your ex is a secondary card holder? Do you have a travel- or grocery-points account to which your ex has access? Consider cancelling the secondary card and removing your ex from your points account or you may discover your ex has spent your points without your consent.

      However, if your ex was financially dependent on you during the relationship and continues to be financially dependent on you at least temporarily after breakup, it is not a good idea to cut your ex off financially. Speak to a family lawyer for more information.

      Change your email and social-media passwords

      Did your ex have full access to your email and social-media accounts during the relationship, either because they know your password or because you both used the same computer or tablet? Change your passwords to protect your privacy. This is especially important if you consult with or hire a lawyer, as that lawyer will likely be communicating privileged information and legal advice to you via email.

      Take your belongings with you

      If you decide to move out of the house, make sure to take your personal belongings with you at the same time. Otherwise, it may be harder to go back to the house to retrieve them at a later date, especially if it was a bad breakup and emotions are high. The last thing you want to do is pay a lawyer to fight over items that cost less than your lawyer’s bill.

      Consider talking to a financial advisor or accountant

      Your financial situation will likely be changing now that you are no longer in a relationship. You may also need funds to pay a lawyer to assist you with resolving outstanding legal matters with your ex. A financial advisor or accountant can help you review your anticipated expenses (for example, can you afford to buy your ex out of the house?) and lifestyle going forward and enable you to plan accordingly.

      Consider talking to a counsellor or therapist

      Breakups are a big deal. They often cause significant and possibly unexpected change and upheaval in your life. Friends and family members aren’t necessarily equipped to help you properly handle the change. Talking to a trained professional can often make a difference.

      It is understandably very easy to forget about these smaller details when you’re in the middle of a stressful breakup. But if you remember, it can benefit you enormously in the long run, prevent additional stress, and help you to move forward with your life.

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