Proving once again that Vancouver is one of the leading and most effective producers of crap, Metro Vancouver has launched a campaign that really stinks to reflect what is going down the drain in the city—besides the city itself.
On April 1, Metro Vancouver launched their third year of the Unflushables campaign, a project that is aimed at raising awareness that only urine, feces, and toilet paper should be flushed in toilets and what shouldn’t be flushed due to complications they create for wastewater systems and the environment.
On April 29, Metro Vancouver posted a video about its two mascots Pee and Poo, a pair of oversized anthropomorphic representations of urine and feces—who should not be confused with similar-looking characters Apple Juice and Chocolate Ice Cream. (There's no word yet if anyeone from Schitt's Creek was under consideration to promote this campaign.)
Metro Vancouver spokesperson Sarah Lusk told Global News that improperly flushed items cost Metro Vancouver a year under a million per year to deal with clogs, which includes opening up and unclogging pumps and repairing damaged infrastructure.
Acccording to the campaign, things that shouldn’t be flushed down toilets include wipes (including baby wipes, cleaning wipes, and personal hygiene wipes), paper towels, hair, tissues, dental floss, medication, tampons and applicators, and condoms.
Assumed additional items to add to the list include oils and grease, yarn, bubblewrap, tinfoil, plastic bags, Playdoh, cheese sticks, one sock with its pair missing, moth-eaten sweaters, smelly wigs, hoarded Halloween candy from three years prior, broken videogame consoles destroyed by irate gamers having temper tantrums, and—as tempting as it may be—pedestrian zombies who take up too much room on the sidewalk.
It remains unknown what one should do with people who fail to flush the toilet, leaving their work for others to look at.
In related shitty news, a man ran an entire half-marathon in Shanghai without stopping for his diarrhea.