Breaking news from the Republic of Kanata: 75 individuals sentenced to life imprisonment, including some big names

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      Note: This is not a reprint from the Onion.

      Chinese president Xi Jinping, Canadian prime minister Justin Trudeau, Queen Elizabeth, and Pope Francis are just some of the people convicted in a four-month trial, according to the Republic of Kanata website.

      The self-styled sovereign nation said in a news release that the International Court has also convicted Pfizer CEO Albert Bourla and GlaxoSmithKline Pharmaceuticals CEO Emma Walmsley, along with 69 others.

      "The highest officials of Church, State, and Corporations have for years personally sanctioned and profited by the systematic torture, trafficking, and murder of children in deadly drug testing experiments to produce the COVID ‘vaccine’, as part of a Criminal Conspiracy to reduce humanity to slavery," the court's public affairs office declared in a statement. "That Conspiracy murders the innocent, traffics in arms, drugs, children, and human organs, and silences or destroys those who threaten to expose it.

      “Our Court has put a legal end to that Conspiracy by criminalizing the persons and the corporations responsible, and prohibiting the further sale and use of the COVID ‘vaccines’, which are the product of medical genocide and the mass murder of children.”

      It also found that "the public opponents of this genocide, especially Kevin Annett, have been continually targeted for destruction by the convicted defendants, who are responsible for the murder of fifteen activists and several recent attempts on Annett’s life".

      Annett's biography claims that he helped convene the first assembly of the Republic of Kanata in Winnipeg in 2015. According to the Republic of Kanata website, its assemblies are legislative bodies.

      "These laws are then enforced by Common Law Courts and Sheriffs elected by and answerable to the People," the website says. "This process of returning power to the people will span years but it begins today when twelve or more men and women sign a Charter to establish a local Republican Assembly."

      In 2020, Annett said that Republic of Kanata sheriffs were talking openly about trashing COVID-19 vaccines.

      "We are not going to let these vaccines—vaccinations—be distributed," Annett says in the video below. "We're going to stop it from happening."