Would you eat a James Franco salami?

A company is offering to turn your favourite celebrity into sausage meat which you can consume with perhaps a nice chianti and some fava beans. 

They haven't actually produced a James Franco salami yet—that would be contingent on Mr. Franco donating some of his myoblast cells for the company's lab-grown meat product—but BiteLabs is urging a wish list of celebrities including Franco, Jennifer Lawrence, and Kanye West to get on board with this new trend in epicureanism. 

"The Kanye Salami will pull no punches," says the company's website. "Heavy, and boldly flavored, pure Kanye West meat will blend with rich, coarse-ground pork. Hungarian paprika and worcestershire give Kanye an underlying smokiness, spiced up with hints of jalapeno. The Kanye Salami is best paired with strong straight bourbon."

Having done some actual investigative work, TIME has concluded that BiteLabs isn't real, but rather "the work of provocateurs who want to create discussion" about the viability, sustainability, and future of lab-grown meat. Which doesn't sound that much better, thanks, Margaret Atwood.

Personally, I think these guys are on the level. I scored an envelope containing Bradford Dillman's hair on eBay last year, and you'd be surprised at how often I take it out and give it a little nibble. 

And them of course, there's Human Leather—"Exclusive real leather human products... for an extremely discerning clientele"—which really, really is real. Possibly.