Every hour, 3000 people go to hell!

Excellent reviews aside, I felt a little cheated by the 2012 doc Hellbound, with all its “dispassionately provocative discussions of theological doctrine” (thank you, Ken Eisner aka Mr. Wordy Brainboxington).

For a bloodier, stupider, and I’m assuming more accurate take on what’s below, I’d like to recommend The Burning Hell—available in its entirety on YouTube.

Presented by the very Reverend and somewhat angry Estus Pirkle, an evangelist from—where else?—Mississippi, The Burning Hell informs us that: “Every hour, 3000 people go to hell!”

I think Hellbound would have been a lot better if they’d given us some hard numbers like this.

The Burning Hell is one of three films produced in the ‘70s by Pirkle’s Baptist ministry in association with exploitation king Ron Ormond.

After surviving a plane crash, Ormond swapped titty-movies for the good work of saving souls. Fortunately, he didn’t amend his habit of hiring apparently brain damaged hillbillies insead of actors or throwing buckets of gore at the camera.