Even if you’ve left absolutely all your Christmas shopping to the last possible minute, you don’t have to feel like Homer Simpson desperately trying to spend his nonexistent bonus at Circus of Values. (“Oh look, a little squeak toy. It says it’s for dogs, but she can’t read.”) It sounds like a cliché (and, well, it is one), but Main Street’s best-kept secret, Welk’s, has something for everyone, from toys and games for the kids to hardware and art supplies. For the hipster foodie, how about a bottle of Noble’s Tuthilltown Bourbon Barrel handcrafted maple syrup or Scrappy’s Firewater Bitters? For the unrepentant facial-follicle ironist, a tin of Element Botanicals’ Man Up Moustache Conditioner and Wax is a must. For the homebody with civic pride, there’s the Vancouver Candle Co.’s scented selection, each named for a different local neighbourhood. And for the black-humour-loving hostess with the mostest, look for handgun-shaped ice-cube trays and zombie cookie cutters.