Starring Nick Swardson, Christina Ricci, and Don Johnson. Rated 18A. Now playing

A bucktoothed Iowa rube with a ginormous bush and a tiny todger: ha-ha, wouldn’t it be funny to turn him into a big Hollywood porn star? Ha-ha. And how totally funny would it be if he could also spunk like a monkey, if the mere sight of a pair of skanky tits made him squirt harder and farther than Peter North?

Everyone who made Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star thought that all sounded so excellently wacky that they didn’t need to do anything else—like, actually make it funny or anything. And everyone means producer Adam Sandler and some of his usual suspects, including cowriter Nick Swardson, who plays big-pubed, small-town dimwit Bucky. Bucky has never even choked his chicken, so imagine his “get outta town” surprise when he discovers that his parents (Edward Hermann and Miriam Flynn) were famous ’70s porn stars. You remember Farmer in the Smell don’t you? What? Right.

Okay, Bucky thinks it’s his divine destiny to do “nude” movies. He goes to Hollywood, where he meets a cute waitress (Christina Ricci—why, Christina, why?), a washed-up porn director (Don Johnson, ditto, but, hey, it’s something), and the reigning John Holmes, who goes by the name of Dick Shadow (Stephen Dorff, looking super-sadly like Axl Rose). Shadow’s favourite expression is, “Nothing grows in my cock shade.” Way to grow, Dick! Yup, so that’s about it, really. Bucky is a one-man bukkake party. And who doesn’t love that, ladies, especially from a guy who looks like Bugs Bunny with a sasquatch crotch? Duck and cover! Duck and cover! Oh, whatever. Run!