Skyfall is one long adrenaline rush
Starring Daniel Craig, Judi Dench, and Javier Bardem. Rated PG. Opens Friday, November 9, at the Park Theatre
Uh-oh, James Bond is dead. That isn’t a spoiler. Uh, not dead. That isn’t a spoiler either. He’s hiding on a tropical island. People are daring him to do shots with a scorpion sitting on his hand. Is Jason Bourne here?
Coolest title sequence ever—could death be a theme? Terrorists have blown up MI6, the CIA’s English equivalent, except the “I” stands for intelligence. Problem: undercover-agent identities leaking onto YouTube. (So? Three worse words: “Twilight fan videos”.) Bond (Daniel sexy Craig) runs to Mommy, I mean, M (Judi Dench). Yeah, it’s a Brit thing, but director Sam Mendes and his screenwriters are seriously hot for Bond saying, “Yes, mum.” A psychiatrist makes him word-associate. M equals bitch. Woman equals provocatrix. Okay, um, yes to the second one.
Also, everyone is calling Bond a dinosaur. The new Q (Ben Whishaw) looks seven. Themes for Bond’s 50th-anniversary film thus far: death, rebirth, age, youth, mum fixation, provocatrixery. Komodo dragon. Sorry, that’s later.
So far, so excellent. Begone, Quantum of Solace. Hello, Bond number 23. Everything is heavy and dark, but Bond plus terrorists is damn entertaining. An adorable girl agent (Naomie Harris) shaves him. Politically incorrect, but he had terrible stubble. Now Bond is fighting a man atop a Shanghai skyscraper; a neon jellyfish undulates behind them. Huh? Drugs in the popcorn! It is surreal and beautiful. Oh, and here’s a beautiful, sad, mysterious woman (Bérénice Marlohe). She is totally the villain’s woman. Bond will totally shower with her. Bets?
Javier Bardem has arrived stylishly late. He is Silva: blond, demented, and dentally compromised. But he’s a deeply convincing Bardem-style lunatic. “Mommy was very bad,” he tells Bond about M. See?
Skyfall is longish. Subway chase? You guys, The French Connection always wins. But the Scottish Hebrides and Albert Finney kick ass. Aston Martin. Machine guns. Don’t mess with the car! “Don’t cock it up!” M tells Bond. Mum!
Watch the trailer for Skyfall.
Comments
10 Comments
Jeph LaPlante
Nov 8, 2012 at 9:14am
Is this a movie review?
Roger E.
Nov 8, 2012 at 11:06am
I sincerely hate your reviewing style with all my might.
SherlockMandango
Nov 8, 2012 at 1:37pm
I'm glad that Bond's back in fine form, though this review's a bit erratic!
the truth
Nov 9, 2012 at 1:32am
Wow... worst review I've ever read.
Paula F.
Nov 10, 2012 at 9:57am
Loved your review; ignore naysayers.
Wil
Nov 10, 2012 at 3:21pm
I read this review in the print edition, and searched frantically for an email address to which I could ask the editor thought this article was fit to print. Honestly, it reads like a person who has tweeted the entire movie scene by scene while watching in the theatres. I don't know whether the writer was trying to be cute and if so, what was the end purpose, but apparently reviewing movies is over her head. Might I suggest something more substantial like this review: http://www.denofgeek.com/movies/23279/skyfall-a-spoiler-filled-exploration ?
Regards.
Armstrong
Nov 12, 2012 at 10:07pm
I printed your review and then I used it as toilet paper. Then, even my ass complained about your poor writing style and lack of coherence. Come on Straight, shape up!
Robinson
Nov 12, 2012 at 11:48pm
Thanks for your headlong no-holds-barred review which produced an adrenaline rush of anticipation!
Meowface
Nov 13, 2012 at 1:34am
Everyone needs to just chill the egghff out , the stream of conciousness review is funny! One might even say refreshing !!! Not everything has to be sooo frikin serious all the time...its gonna be ok...just breath in and out... Have a soak...pet a cat...eat some pakoras in bed....if that doesnt work...try Clonazepam....in a martini.
Average reader
Nov 13, 2012 at 9:51am
When a writer cares more about wanking than whether anyone can read or understand the review, it's fair game Meowface. The writer needs to stop trying so hard.