I lost a friend over the weekend

posted October 7th, 2013 at 11:00 AM

I lost a friend this weekend. All because I had an emotional breakdown and he feels like he's a disappointment to me. I'm so sad. So very very sad. I'm trying to keep my chin up, but it's so hard. I feel like any second, as I'm typing these words and sitting at my desk I could just break down crying out loud. On the brink of tears since the second I woke up this morning. And there's simply nothing I can do about it. I never realized I had such feelings for this man. I think I'm in love with him.... and now he's gone. It's killing me.

9 Comments

Simple solution...

Oct 7, 2013 at 12:10pm

...if you are in love with him, and he is available, tell him. Then let the chips fall where they may.

seriously

Oct 7, 2013 at 12:13pm

grow up.

DShK

Oct 7, 2013 at 12:26pm

You've lost him for good? Did he leave the country?

All you have left to do is express yourself to him fully and completely...then you'll know where things stand.

Best of luck and don't be too hard on yourself.

that sucks, but...

Oct 7, 2013 at 12:32pm

You should let him know - keep your chin up :)

RUK

Oct 7, 2013 at 1:51pm

OP, sorry you lost your friend.

Sounds like he couldn't handle your emotional breakdown.

If so, maybe it is better that you weren't in a love relationship anyway.

I mean, while none of us look to have emotional breakdowns (except while riding nude on wrecking balls, and that is rare), those things do happen, and your partner is supposed to be able to face it and help you out of it.

If you are a very emotionally touchy person, it seems to me that it would be better not to be in a relationship, and especially not with someone who bolts because you have an outburst.

Anyway... that is free advice...worth every penny huh

@RUK

Oct 7, 2013 at 2:06pm

You're right. It wasn't entirely my fault (the breakdown) - certain things happened that triggered it. But I agree with you. Probably best that way.

@RUK

Oct 7, 2013 at 4:42pm

Maybe this guy needs some training - why give up on love??

@op

Oct 7, 2013 at 9:34pm

You seem very sweet. But if this guy is truly meant to be with you, he'll come back to you. Have faith in yourself and the universal forces at play. When 2 people are destined to be together, nothing can stop that from happening !

RUK

Oct 8, 2013 at 9:32am

Training is good.

The thing is, I completely believe that people can change. You could change and be less emotionally explosive. He could change and be more capable - hell, even desirous of - being a good listener and lovingly supportive.

But the problem is, you can't expect other people to change. It is quite enough of a responsibility to make ourselves change, and as everyone knows, bad habits are sometimes hard to break.

So while there is always hope that incompatible people will get more compatible, I tend to think it is a faint hope and that the energy is better spent trying to control the things that we can actually control: our knowledge of self and others, our methods of understanding, our time, the food we eat and the sleep we get, and all that good stuff.

Romance...romance would make it so much more fun though, right? Totally. Totally. I hope that the other person is also thinking along those lines.

But, shit, you gotta do what YOU can do. Including, for the time being or perhaps forever, having a good, interesting life without this person in it.

peace and love