Complicated G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra shows signs of brilliance

by Ron Yamauchi on August 10th, 2009 at 10:39 AM

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Starring Dennis Quaid, Sienna Miller, and Channing Tatum. Rated 14A. Now playing.

An almost wholly successful riposte to killjoy movies like Stop-Loss and In the Valley of Elah that have made modern warfare seem stressful and evil, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is two straight hours of undiluted mayhemy goodness.

As he showed with The Mummy and Van Helsing, director Stephen Sommers knows how to craft silly action movies that are actually fun to watch. After gleefully deconstructing the various creatures of the Universal horror catalog, Sommers is now playing with G.I. Joe, specifically the comics and TV shows of the early ’80s.

Set in the near future, the movie is basically all about weapons. The bad guys, called Destro (Christopher Eccleston), the Doctor (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), and the Baroness (Sienna Miller), aided by countless disposable flunkies, have been commissioned by NATO to develop horrific new weapons technology, which they steal from the good guys using awesome weapons, who then retaliate by using their own awesome weapons to retrieve the new weapons. The good guys are led by Gen. Hawk (Dennis Quaid) and Scarlett (Rachel Nichols), and include Joe recruits Duke (Channing Tatum) and Ripcord (Marlon Wayans). Because the latter two are fresh Joes, we get to see them in groovy training montages that show off the vast resources and capabilities of the Joe force, which is apparently a multinational black-ops assault force with an unlimited gadget budget. We also see a lot of abs and smouldering glowers.

Watch the trailer for G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

The weird thing about this movie is that it is actually insanely complicated, with almost every character possessing detailed intertwining back stories that explain their various proclivities in bursts of flashback. It’s nothing you need to know, and the revelations tend to crop up at strange times (for example, while falling out of exploding airplanes or while dodging ninja stars), but the personal histories and rather competent acting make the movie less of a stupid cartoon. At times, it is a brilliant one.

Comments

6 Comments

sleepswithangels

Aug 10, 2009 at 1:44pm

Yes!!!!
Let's celebrate our ever increasing militarism and let's definitely hang onto the illusion that we are the "good guys" while children are slaughtered so we can control dwindling petroleum resources. Let's be ever more creative while we define who the "bad guys" are...we wouldn't want to feel guilty while we drive our 400 hp parade float those three blocks to buy ice cream so we don't have to drag our obese backsides down the sidewalk under our own power. Let's demonize whole races of people. Better yet, let's just poison their land with nuclear waste/depleted uranium weapons or spike their vaccines with deadly bio weapons so they won't be around to remind us of who we're stealing from.

Is it just me or does anyone else think it absurd that Canada and the USA are over run with obese peabrains while "our" troops slaughter women and children in their homes in countries that have resources we want to "liberate" under the guise of bringing democracy and ending "terrorism"?
SMBs

io

Aug 11, 2009 at 12:18am

To the previous comment: It's just you. Also, congratulations on obtaining your doctorate's degree in hypocrisy: you just demonized a whole group of people too. Obese people. Now please get off your soapbox and intern yourself in the nearest psych ward.

sleepswithangels

Aug 11, 2009 at 10:31am

Yes, io, I did demonize obese people without acknowledging that a minority of them are rotund because of genetic abnormalities or because of unbalanced pharmaceuticals their quack/MD pushed. However, obese people best define the moral decay and unbridled greed that epitomizes North American "culture" better than any other identifiable group except for FundaMENTAL Christians but I wouldn't want to slag those pervert assholes because they have guns and know where I live due to their infiltration of our police and security agencies. Sure, most Fundies are semi retarded blimps but they're all on speed and so fucked up on religion you'd think they all weighed 98 lbs. No way I'm going to dis that cabal of catamites and closet felchers.

I noticed, io, that you didn't try and refute my assertion that the US and it's bum boy enabler, Canada, are engaged in the most toxic and deadly genocide the world has ever known. Very wise and very telling. So sorry I interupted your journey through those case lots of "diet" pop, bon bons and eclairs.
SMBs

great big fattie

Aug 11, 2009 at 11:34am

Hey Sleeps with blah blah blah...DON'T MAKE ME SIT ON YOU!

sleepswithangels

Aug 11, 2009 at 2:51pm

R U coming onto me GBF? R U an elite special forces GI Joe type?
I know they like to maintain an image of athleticism but wisdom (and lots of published photos) tells me that 8 out of 10 "macho" soldier boys are out of shape chow hounds who act all homophobic but spend their days dreaming ways to get their comrades in arms to discharge their "weapons" where the sun don't shine.
SMBs