Snack Attack
“It amazes us that a Canadian official would indulge in such blood lust. It sounds like she’s trying to give Canadians an even more Neanderthal image around the world than they already have.”—Dan Mathews, senior vice president of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, commenting on Gov. Gen Michaí«lle Jean’s participation in a community feast of a raw seal heart during a visit to Nunavut, in celebration of the territory’s 10th anniversary

Friendly Fire
“I didn’t even know they were in the war. I thought that’s where you go when you don’t want to fight. Go chill in Canada.”—American comedian Doug Benson discussing the Canadian military on the late-night Fox News show Red Eye. Host Greg Gutfeld later apologized

Fuck the environment
“Without the wealth that comes from growth, the environmental threats, the developmental challenges, and the peace and security issues facing the world will be exponentially more difficult to deal with.”—Prime Minister Stephen Harper on using Canada’s cochairmanship of next year’s meeting of the Group of 20 countries as a platform to urge members to put economic recovery ahead of environmental protection

To the moon, Alice!
“If I were sexist, I think I would certainly know about it by now."—-Edmonton-Calder Conservative MLA Doug Elniski after apologizing for posting comments on his blog advising women to smile more and to forget about “that ”˜treated equal’ stuff’”

What do you mean “we”, white man?
“We also have no history of colonialism. So we have all of the things that many people admire about the great powers, but none of the things that threaten or bother them.”
—Prime Minister Stephen Harper on Canadian history

Lip lockup
“After a comparison was done, it emerged that although the passenger and the passport holder had the same facial features, that passenger’s lips were different from that of the passport holder.”—Documents filed in a Nairobi court explaining why a Canadian woman was detained in Kenya for three months and accused of being an impostor by the Canadian High Commission

Full steam behind
“There’s always a lot of hype and drama that gets built into this sort of international event, much of it intended to force the hand of participants. We aren’t going to buy into that.”—Environment Minister Jim Prentice on the UN Climate Change Conference in Copenhagen

Street cred gone
“Canada should just shut up because it has lost all credibility in the last few years on this portfolio. Nobody respects Canada’s opinion on this anymore.”—UVic climate scientist Andrew Weaver on what the Canadian delegation should say at the UN Climate Change Conference in Copenhagen

You bastard!
“That South Park is a vulgar, socially irreverent program that contributes nothing of value to anyone or any community goes without saying.”—Judge Lynn Cook-Stanhope in dismissing charges against two Calgary teens who had pleaded guilty to assaulting a classmate on so-called Kick a Ginger Day, popularized by the animated TV show

Punks
“I looked at them and I thought, ”˜Christ, I have more experience at the national level than all four of them combined.’ ”—Kwakwaka’wakw Chief Bill Wilson explaining why he entered the race against four other candidates to replace Phil Fontaine as national chief of the Assembly of First Nations